9 Years Without You
by charmingcharles2896
Summary: Post series fic... After 9 years without her can Chuck pick up the pieces while trying to survive his biggest test yet?. Will Chuck and Sarah survive the twisted mind of the Masked Man ?
1. Chapter 1

_**AN... This was originally my idea for a movie after the series**_

_**AN... Sorry that this chapter is so short but i had to publish this part separate from the rest only my second fic ever so constructive criticism greatly appreciated enjoy **_

_**Sadly i don't own chuck but hopefully some day i might but i don't so what ever. **_

Chuck vs. 9 Years

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 1: Aftermath

January 27th

Malibu California, "_The Beach_" 7:35P.M.

The kiss a kiss to end all kisses a kiss that could decide the fate of Chuck and Sarah's future plans. As they broke the kiss Sarah kept her eye's closed hoping for something, anything to happen, but sadly no dice.

"I'm so sorry chuck but the kiss didn't work" She buried her face in his chest crying.

"Sarah its okay we'll work around it, we'll get through it, and we will be together again even if it takes the rest of my life." The resolve in his voice was both comforting and inspiring.

"I wanted it to work so bad after hearing our story I wanted so badly to remember, to be the wife you deserve not what I am now, a lonely lost burn out spy who nearly killed the only man that ever loved her and threatened his whole family. I want it so badly and yet I now have to embrace the harsh reality that I will never be the woman who loved you again instead I'll be the woman formerly known as Sarah Bartowski." It broke Chuck's heart to see her like this so depressed and so wrong.

"Sarah look at me" Chuck said tenderly as he turned her so she was looking him in the eye.

"What makes you think I don't still love you? What makes you think you're a burnt out spy? What makes you think that it has to be this way? I mean look I now a lot about you yet you now little about me but who cares if we just take our time and work this out we can get through this and move on to a future our future. Doesn't that sound great?" Sarah was looking on in revere as this man just said the exact thing she needed to hear. The smile on Chuck's face could light up even the darkest of rooms.

"So Sarah what do you think?" they both stood up holding hands, Chuck got down on one knee and asked…

"Sarah Lisa Bartowski will you take it slow with me?" Sarah was on the verge of crying again but for a different reason this time it was because no matter how bad things got she had chuck to rely on and it was a first for her, and who was she kidding she new she was once again falling madly in love with one Charles Irving Bartowski but she new that it was better if they took it slow. She had better respond to his question before he gets the wrong idea she didn't know much about chuck as a person but she wasn't dumb so she easily realized that he was the talk it out type…

"Of coarse I will Chuck I lov…" no she can't not yet they were taking it slow, oh fuck it she was going to live her life the way she wanted to.

"Chuck I love you and I don't need memories to know that so forget taking it slow I want my life back I want our life back I want to be your wife again." Sarah attacked his lips in fire of passion want and need. As there tongues danced she ran her fingers through his hair when suddenly she broke the kiss and spoke

"You now chuck I always liked your hair when it was longer you should grow it out."

The look of shock on chucks face was very apparent.

"Wa wa what did you just say?"

"You should grow out your hair I miss your long curly brown locks" she said it so nonchalantly that chuck was surprised to say the least.

"Sarah where did that come from?" Sarah was surprised by his response.

"While we were kissing I was thinking about the game night so many years ago wear Morgan was talking about your dog peaches during that conversation I ran my hand through your hair and thought of how great you looked with long hair."

"OH MY GOD SARAH THAT WAS A MEMORY YOU JUST REMEMBERED THAT!" Chuck kissed her again before rapping her in a hug so tight that she almost stopped breathing. Chuck was so excited that she remembered something it was like hope was restored for him like it was still possible for her to remember not that it would have mattered if she didn't.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

January 28th,

Mohave Desert 5:37 A.M.

A lone armored truck speeds down the highway in the early morning. In the back is basically every bad guy Chuck every came in contact with. Lazlo Minofski, Mr. Colt, Hugo Panzer, and a man alone in the corner wearing a strange mask the man is wrapped in a strait jacket and saying nothing. Three black ford vans pull up behind the armored truck. The driver of the truck speaks

"We've got company" two vans pull ahead and next to the truck practically boxing the truck in.  
"Oh shit" said the passenger as the van in front of them opened its rear doors two men dressed in black suits were sitting there with President Masks on. One of the two men held up an RPG-7 and aimed it at the truck… BOOM the cab burst into flames the driver and his companion were vaporized in seconds. As the truck veered off the road and flipped over the prisoners in the back went flying all over the place. As the masked men surveyed the damage the door fell open reveling a ghastly scene, hug panzer was dead on the ground with a massive gash in his forehead, Mr. Colt was dead also from a broken skull after he hit his head on a seat, Lazlo was unconscious and the mysterious man wearing the strait jacket was sitting in the corner, half of the mask was cracked and his eye was missing.

"Good he is still alive grab him and lets go before the C.I.A. gets hear" two men grabbed the mysterious man and left. As the vans sped off into the distance clouds near the horizon started to form, it was the calm before the storm.


	2. Chapter 2

**_AN... THIS CHAPTER IS HEAVY BE WARNED YOU MAY CRY I KNOW I DID WHEN I WROTE IT AFTER THIS CHAPTER THE TITLE AND DESCRIPTION START TO MAKE MORE SINCE ENJOY._**

**_AN... PLEASE REVIEW I GLADLY APRECIATE CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. _**

**_SADLY I DON'T OWN CHUCK OR ANY OF IT'S CHARACTERS BUT MAYBE SOMEDAY... _**

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 2: The Letter

1 year later 8:00 A.M.

As the sun shined in through the Morgan door waking chuck from his wrestles sleep. Chucks outstretched arm dangling idly over the empty side usually occupied by Sarah, it felt cold and lonely. As chuck slowly raised from his bed to start the day he noticed something was different, he looked around the room looking for what was out of place.

"That's it" he clumsily got out of bed and walked over to his Tron poster and straitened it. While walking down the hallway he smelled a familiar smell, Bacon and pancakes his favorite it brought a smile to his face that his loving wife made him breakfast.

"Sarah" he called but there was no reply.

As he eat his breakfast he noticed a piece of paper on the coffee table.

"Huh that's unusual he grabbed a piece of Sarah's amazing bacon and walked over to the table to look at the unassuming piece of paper. It was a letter from Sarah; his heart skipped a beat at the thought that she wrote him a letter.

_Dear Chuck,_

_I'm leaving and I'm not coming back, though I love you and will always cherish the last year with you I just can't live this life anymore. I'm rejoining the C.I.A. and I'm going to do what I do best don't count on me coming back so please move on it's what's best. I know that this is going to hurt but please forgive me it's nothing that you did it is just me I can't give you what you deserve. Let's face it the last year was rough we fought and we argued maybe not at first but it is clear that we can never be together yes we tried but in the end we will never work out. I can't continue putting such a burden on your shoulders. I can't keep letting you work yourself to death trying to cure my amnesia it isn't right for you to work so hard while I do nothing. So I'm leaving, actually I've already left by the time you read this I'll probably be outside L.A. I got rid of my cell and all of the tracking devices so don't come after me. Goodbye Chuck I'll always love you good luck in your future in devours._

_Sincerely your loving wife Sarah Bartowski._

_P.S. there is an envelope on the coffee table that has some things for you inside. Once again I'm sorry that it had to end like this._

Chuck was speechless his mind was reeling, his palms were sweaty and his lip was quivering. As he sat down he looked at the table, there was the envelope. As he stared down at the envelope he mused to himself how could this day get any worse. He scolded himself for saying those infamous words. As he opened the envelope he saw a piece of paper inside chuck thought he new what it was but didn't dare find out his body betrayed his mind and pulled out the piece of paper. While unfolding the piece of paper chuck noticed how afraid he really was of what was on that paper. As soon as he saw the heading on the piece of paper he dropped every thing he was folding at that moment like they were hot coals.

"No no no it can't be, it can't end like this please god stop this oh my god no" it was a divorce paper with her signature at the bottom. When he dropped the envelope he heard a clanking sound. He picked the envelope back up and a ring fell out and into his hand, it was her wedding ring. As he read the inscription on it a lone tear ran down his cheek

_CB + SW 4 EVER_

"Looks like forever wasn't enough" as chuck looked further into the envelope he gasped at what he saw next his mothers and formerly Sarah's charm bracelet, on it there was a new charm… a broken heart. That was all it took all of his walls came crashing down his world was officially destroyed by a charm bracelet.

"Oh my god" Chuck buried his face in his hands he started to cry a heart wrenching cry of anguish and despair.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sarah had the windows open, the radio blasting and was driving at 138 miles per hour but that didn't stop the tears from flowing down her face. Not even 3 hours ago she had given up a life with the man of her dreams she had hurt the only man in the world that didn't deserve it and above all she had given up any and all dreams of a family, her family. She was afraid of the intimacy the feelings. She wasn't good enough for him no matter how many times he told her different. He deserved better then her. He didn't deserve a burnt out CIA slut who had been whored out by the agency for over 10 years. No he deserved a girl who could actually love him both physically and emotionally someone that could share their feelings someone who wasn't damaged goods.

"Yes that's what he deserves." She said it out loud hoping desperately to convince herself too. As Sarah's car sped off into the early morning sun it was truly the end of an era a very good era but it was the end of an era nonetheless.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Morgan was not a fan of waking up early but when he heard a ruckus in chucks apartment he being chucks hetero life partner was obligated to check up on chuck. As he walked the few feet over to Chuck and Sarah's place he heard a faint sound he could not identify it.

As chuck continued to sob in his family room he heard something to his left.

"Hey buddy is everything all righ…" the words died on Morgan's tongue as he observed the scene in front of him, the last time Chuck was this emotional was after Jill broke up with him so many years ago.

"What's wrong Chuck why are you crying?" Chuck just handed Morgan the letter and continued to cry.

"She's gone buddy, she's gone for good and it's all my fault" as Morgan finished the letter his own tears were welling up in his eyes, the best thing to happen to Chuck in almost a decade left without a goodbye. It was tragic when you looked at it, everyone chuck gets close to has hurt him yet chuck finds a way to love everyone time and again. Everyone thought that Sarah was the one they where perfect for each other and yet destiny through a monkey wrench in there plans.

"Morgan don't you have work today?" ask chuck as the sobs started to subside.

"Yes but I think that you need me more than the buy more does which by the way is much less intense without Jeff and Lester." Morgan was trying to lighten the mood.

"No Morgan I'll be fine got to work" Morgan was skeptic.

"You sure cause I'm here for you."

"Yes Morgan go I'll be fine go to work" Truth be told chuck really did need Morgan but he put on a brave face Morgan was the manager of the buy more now he can't just miss work and with Ellie thousands of miles away he was alone on this one but he didn't mind being alone. He often felt alone during his 5 years in the spy life. As Morgan walked through the courtyard he remembered all of the moment's chuck and Sarah had out here chuck told him pretty much everything so he new about most of there talks. There rehearsal dinner was out here the night that Vivian Winterbottom used the Norsman device. It was truly a place were magic happened.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

8:35 P.M. 10 hours later

Chuck was at an all time low point in his life no job not that he needed one no wife just chuck and a bottle of vodka, Chuck had bine nursing the bottle for over an hour. Chuck never could do a straight shot he always had to do something else with it like orange juice. Casey always teased him about it but didn't care; as a matter of fact he didn't care about much of anything at the moment, Sarah was gone no goodbyes just gone and now Chuck was reduced to crying for 10 hours while consuming all the alcohol in the apartment and listening to band of horses. But after searching he finally found the item he was looking for. It was heavy and cold, indiscriminant and deadly. Chuck had been staring at the gun for over an hour it was loaded and cocked, chuck had been contemplating doing it but didn't have the courage. How pathetic he couldn't do it he had shot other people before namely Daniel Shaw 3 times in the chest.

"This is how it ends, News flash chuck Bartowski found dead on living room floor after committing suicide. How tragic" chuck looked at the gun as he lifted it up towards his temple. A lone tear crept down his cheek he breathed in one deep breath. In his other hand was a picture of him and Sarah at there wedding. He wanted the last thing he ever saw to be Sarah happy something he hadn't see in a long time. He was trembling he didn't want it to end this way but at the same time he did. He brought the gun down from his temple and looked at it again.

"I'm sorry Sarah I wish it could have been different but that's not gonna happen any time soon so goodbye." He brought the gun back up quickly his trigger finger moved toward the trigger.

"CHUCK NO!" screamed Ellie as she ran towards him. Chuck looked up in shock his lip was quivering.

"Don't do it please" by now Ellie had taken the gun from Chuck and gotten rid of it. Chuck was sitting on the floor with Ellie a mere 2 feet away.

"But I have nothing to live for the only girl that could ever love me left because I loved her to much it's the only way out." The tears were streaming down Ellie's face as she looked upon her younger brother. Chuck leapt into her arms and cried he buried his face into her shoulder as the sadness gripped him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sarah was sobbing as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She was sitting in her car in a Wal-Mart parking lot at 10:00 P.M. as she watched the security cameras that were still inside chuck's apartment she had been watching for a good hour when she saw him pull out the gun. Lets get this out there Sarah Lisa Walker Bartowski never gets scared but when chuck took out that gun she was the most scared she had ever been ever in her life. She never thought it would go this far she new he would probably break down but suicide that was never even an after thought. But when that gun was pointed at his temple the saddest feeling of guilt over came her she had caused this all of it because she was afraid, she was in her eyes not worthy and now he wanted to kill himself. That was something that she would never forget, the look on his face as he looked at the picture of there wedding day. As he brought the gun up the second time she closed the laptop unable to continue watching she opened up he car door and proceeded to empty the contents of her stomach. She new that at that moment she was no longer a hero who saved lives, no she was a murderer. She killed an innocent man all because of her selfish reasons. She would live with the fact that he died an innocent man caught up in her own selfish games.

_**AN... NOW I KNOW THAT WAS NOT WHAT YOU EXPECTED BUT BARE WITH ME.**_


	3. Chapter 3

_**AN... SORRY THIS TOOK A LONG TIME TO WRITE I HAD A LOT OF SCHOOL STUFF TO DEAL WITH**_

_**AN... WHEN I WROTE THIS CHAPTER I REALLY WANTED TO DO AN INTROSPECTION STYLE CHAPTER BUT I HAVE A PLOT TO ADVANCE SO I DID THIS**_

_**AN... PLEASE TAKE THE TIME TO REVIEW THIS I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT**_

_**I DON'T OWN ANYTHING ASSOCIATED WITH CHUCK BUT WOULDN'T THAT BE COOL **_

**XXXXXXXXXXXXX**

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 3: Reflections

9 Years Later

Thinking back to that night so many years ago when he almost ended it all. Ellie had caught a flight as soon as Morgan told her what happened. He was so sad that day he never wallows in self-pity but that day he couldn't be helped. So much had happened since then chuck was so depressed he had buried himself in intersect research it wasn't long before he solved the puzzle of her amnesia. After that he turned to software design he was the proud owner of the most popular video game in the world. He was a billionaire now but it didn't matter he was still pretty dead inside. He tried dating a little at first but after him and this girl named Emily didn't work out he just gave up. That was all most 7 years ago. Casey came back after a year and a half away with his new fiancé Gertrude Verbanski they were married shortly there after. Morgan and Alex got married a few weeks after Casey came back. Ellie and Awesome had another kid, Stephen James Bartowski II. Everyone moved forward but chuck he had become obsessed with finding Sarah and giving her, her memories back which was a lot easier than he thought it would be. But she was a ghost he could never find her he even tried the department of defense but no dice his security clearance had been revoked. As he sped through traffic on the highway he was quickly approaching 200 miles per hour but he could handle it with ease on the Nighthawk super bike that he bought from the government at a cost of a lousy 10 million dollars. Tonight was a special night Jeffster's 3rd world tour was in LA tonight and everyone got tickets. Everyone was in town for this event, it isn't every day that fellow buy more employees turned European pop stars were performing in town. As he approached his estate he couldn't help but smile as he saw all of the different cars parked outside of his house. When he pulled into his massive garage he drove by the rows and rows of his cars. A grey Porsche, a herder from the buy more, a black Cadillac Escalade, an orange Lamborghini Aventador and a red 1969 ford mustang with blue leather interior. As chuck walked into his house you could see room after room filled with various things. Chuck could hear the rest of the gang in the kitchen. But there was one room this room was his own personal office only he could go in there. As he walked into his office he grabbed a pair of glasses they were a special pair. Every time he wet out he brought these with him. He knew it was just a pipe dream but he could never be too careful so he always had them with him. As he turned around he glanced at the glass case, her ring was on it's own little pedestal, he would always love that woman but he was resolve in the fact that she didn't so life goes on. It was time to leave for the concert so chuck prepared mentally. He took deep breaths as he put on a fake happy face. It wasn't the trademark Bartowski smile but whom was he kidding, that hadn't been seen in at least 5 years.

Ellie, Awesome, Casey, Gertrude, Morgan, Alex and the rest of the Buymore crew were standing in chucks massive kitchen.

"Hey everybody." Said a cheery chuck that had a bounce in his step.

"Hey Chuck" said everybody else.

"So is everybody ready for Jeefster 2022!" cheers could be heard through out the group.

"Okay everybody follow my Lamborghini I'm feeling like showing off my car tonight." Everybody laughed as they made their way outside to their cars. Chuck's Lamborghini roared to life as Chuck's face broke out into a genuine smile. He loved this car it was his baby Sarah always had her Porsche well he had this and it was an incredible machine. He let no one drive it that's how important it was to him. As he led the convoy of friends and family down the highway he was thinking about her again it was a terrible habit he had. He had looked and looked for her but she never turned up he had talked to carina about it but she always evaded the question which lead him to think that maybe she new but he didn't care anymore. He still did wonder where she was at this moment…

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

24 miles away

All you could hear was the thumping bass of the music. Black stiletto heals, black fishnet stockings. A trench coat covered her whole body as she sauntered over to the bachelor party.

"Hello boys who's the lucky victim?" they all pointed to the man in the center of the crowd. She unbuttoned her coat slowly, teasingly. The look of anticipation in his eye's clearly apparent. She dropped the coat to the floor. She was now topless as she walked up to the man pushed him into the chair in the back of the room. She started dancing, they were speechless she was the most beautiful girl they had ever seen. She leaned down to the man and got close to his ear and spoke in Russian.

"Ya pistlyet" the man looked confused.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I have your gun" a shot rang out; the man was dead but more specifically Omid Tavilli the wanted drug trafficker was now dead. Sarah spun around and got off 6 more shots and 6 more kills she jumped up and ran to the door.

"After that whore bring me her head!" Said the quintessential second in command the men ran out the door and frantically looked around for her. A car screeched as it accelerated, Sarah figured that if they followed her into downtown she could get away.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Hollywood Bowl, Las Angeles, CA

9:50 2 hours later.

Jeefster had been incredible so far they had foreign born, Gary Go and the hives open up for them. Of coarse Jeffster is manly a cover band but they unveiled some new material. The show had been winding down when there last song began. The crowd went nuts as the first notes of Goldeneye began. Chuck cheered he loved this song both the Tina Turner version and theirs.

**See reflections on the water**

**More then darkness in the depths**

**See him surface and never re shadow**

**On the wind I feel his breath**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

2 miles south

Same time.

Sarah was flying down the road the shots were whizzing by her car as she sped down the busy Los Angeles road.

"Come on!" Sarah was getting frustrated she had been try to elude these criminals for well over an hour. She was approaching the Hollywood bowl very quickly, which would make it very hard to get away. If she got stuck in traffic then she would surely get killed.

XXXXXXXXXXX

As the song continued chuck was really enjoying himself it was good to forget sometimes and just have fun.

**You'll never know how it feels to be the one who's left behind**

**You'll never know the days, the nights, the tears, the tears I've cried**

**But now my time has come and time, time is not on your side.**

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Sarah just might make it; there was a small gap in traffic at an intersection. If she could shoot the gap then she was home free.

"Hear we go"She shifted into a higher gear and stomped on the throttle. The car went literally flying through the intersection but not before the rear end was clipped by a bus. Her car was airborne now and spinning the rear end was destroyed and she was unconscious inside. The pursuers didn't fair much better, one of the three cars hit the back of the bus and was totaled the other two collided with a pair of Volkswagen's. Her car continued to thrash and roll while she was tossed around inside like a lifeless ragdoll. Her car finally came to a stop upside down there was blood running down her face, as she lay there helpless. The other guys were also equally incapacitated the 4 in the car that hit the bus were dead and all the others were either unconscious on the pavement outside of the cars or inside also unconscious.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Chuck and the gang were walking out of the concert minutes after the wreck happened they quickly saw all of the commotion over in the far end of the intersection when Devon heard someone scream. They all ran over to see what was going on. Six of the remaining armed men had there guns drawn and pointed at the crowd to stay back as they inched toward the mangled wreck that was Sarah's car. Of coarse chuck didn't know it was Sarah's car. All chuck knew was that his family was in danger.

"Gentle men what is going on here?" chuck took a step toward them in an attempt to calm the situation.

"Hey shut the hell up this doesn't concern you so back away." The men pointed at him with there guns. Ellie was really scared for chuck she didn't know what he was doing but it wasn't good.

"Just tell me what is so important that you would take machine guns to Los Angeles and threaten citizens lives?" the leader of the men walked up to chuck and spoke…

"Shut up American scum, this doesn't concern you so if you speak again I promise you I'll hurt you." To really hammer his message home the man hit chuck in the gut with the stock of his Russian made AK-47. Chuck sank to the ground trying to catch his breath Ellie lurched at the man.

"Chuck" called Ellie as her protective instincts kicked in.

"So Chuck is this a family member of yours? A sister perhaps?" asked the man manically as he walked over to her.

"Don't you touch her you god damn dirtball." Said chuck as he stood up and faced the man the rage in his eye would shatter the resolve of any man.

"You know what Chuck I think me and my friends are going to have a little fun with your sister here what do you think? I think it will be fun in fact boys grab her we'll just kill the spy in the car and go back to my place and have some fun." The man never saw it coming as Chuck attacked the man. When it was all over chuck had the man in a headlock.

"Here is how this is going to work you and your buddies are going to leave here and never comeback okay" the man looked terrified at the rage and strength of Chuck who was generally thin in nature. Chuck let go of the man who quickly distanced himself from chuck. The man contemplated his next move when chuck saw something in the car… Blonde hair. The man lifted up his gun almost ready to shoot just as chuck flashed on the license plate of the mangle wreckage that was the spy's car.

**Dead body after dead body **

**A burning building**

**A flower **

**And the words**

'_**The Black Widow' **_

Chuck was freaking out that was one of the top field agents in that car Chuck could not let them kill this agent.

"Ellie hold my coat please I'm going to end this once and for all." Chuck handed Ellie his coat and flashed. He cracked his neck then Boom a quick jab to the gut Chuck was landing hit after hit on the men but they wouldn't quit so he flashed again on Krav Maga. The man threw a punch, which Chuck easily dodged, Chuck grabbed the man's wrist and broke his elbow. Another man came up with a knife Chuck broke his hand before stabbing the man in the thigh. It was all over chuck was standing there panting when he heard a loud crash he turned around and gasped…

"Sarah?"

_**CLIFF HANGER... I KNOW IT ISN'T COOL BUT I FELT IT NECESSARY UNTIL NEXT TIME. **_


	4. Chapter 4

**_AN... THANK YOU FOR POINTING OUT PLOT HOLES IT IS MUCH APPRECIATED PLEASE CONTINUE THE REVIEWS AND CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED._**

**_AN... I KNOW THAT THIS CHAPTER STILL LEAVES A FEW LOOSE ENDS BUT I THINK IT WAS NECESSARY TO WRITE THIS ONE THE WAY IT IS_**

**_AN... IN MY OPINION THIS IS THE BEST CHAPTER OF THE STORY IT WAS CERTAINLY MY FAVORITE I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT._**

**_AN... I THINK THIS CHAPTER PORTRAYS A REALISTIC VERSION OF WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THEY DID MEET AGAIN._**

**_AN... I DON'T OWN CHUCK BUT GOD WOULD THAT BE AWESOME. _**

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 4: A Chance Encounter

Shock pure shock that's the only way to describe it, Chuck was speechless there she was after all these years. Sarah couldn't believe it either he was alive after all; her heart was bursting with joy for the first time in as long as she could remember.

"Sarah?" was all he could say.

"Chuck?" she choked out. The rest of the group was speechless especially Ellie who actually stayed in la for a good 2 months after Chuck gave everyone a little scare. They slowly walked closer to each other hesitantly almost as if they were making sure the other was actually there. They were mere feet from each other when chuck opened his mouth to speak. Sarah was afraid of what he would say, it had been nine years since they had talked last and she knew he must have been looking for her considering this is Chuck were talking about. He closed his mouth almost as if rethinking the first thing he would say to her, she decided to speak first.

"I'm sorry" she was going to say more but he cut her off.

"Sorry, Your Sorry" it was almost a whisper he was so mad.

"After all this time your sorry. You left because I worked to hard, instead of telling me, you left. I nearly killed myself, and all you have to say is Sorry!" Sarah was actually kind of shocked by his sudden outburst. A feeble 'well' was all she could get out before he ranted again.

"God you know I spent nine years of my life trying to find you and fix your amnesia but it just dawned on me… you don't want your memories back, all this time and effort wasted on a girl who didn't want what I had to give. Wow I feel like an idiot now." Tears were welling up in her eyes, no she couldn't breakdown and cry not now.

"I even took the time to make a par of glasses for you to fix it all." Chuck walked over to Ellie. He snatched the coat from her hands and went into the pocket and pulled out a par of glasses.

"Here if you ever decide you want your life back just put these on and watch." He turned around to walk away; he looked over at Ellie who had a weird look in her eyes as If she was trying to tell him that he was out of line. The tears were flowing now; he hated her, had for some time now not that she had known. She thought he had killed himself and since he was no longer a spy the agency never told her one way or another, figures as much. Since she had been trying to keep busy for most of the last nine years. She never kept up on pop culture she never even bothered. But now this changed everything he was alive and he actually solved the memory problem even though he might not have ever seen her again. Chuck turned around to see her crying into one hand while the other one cover he bare chest. He was such an idiot he had let his anger get the best of him and look what it had done.

"Sarah I'm sorry I'm really not that mad at you actually. Although I'd be lying if I said I wasn't at all but that's beside the point."

"Your not mad?" she was desperately trying to stop crying at this point but it was useless.

"No not really I'm more shocked to see you" everybody watched in awe as the two conversed.

"Oh" she quietly giggled a little.

"Here ware this" chuck handed her his coat.  
"Oh gosh I'm naked aren't I how embarrassing, thank you for the coat." She quickly put on the coat and turned to the rest of them and spoke

"Well it was nice seeing you all again I have to be going" she turned to walk away but stopped.  
"Thanks for saving me Chuck I'm eternally grateful, goodbye." She started walking away. Chuck was flabbergasted to say the least, there she was the woman of his dreams after all these years, suddenly Morgan interrupted his private musings.  
"Chuck don't just stand there go after her you can't let her walk home alone warring what she's warring."

"She's fine she's got training she can handle it." Truth be told Morgan was right Chuck was just too scared to go after her. Ellie came up to him next.

"Go after her you numb skull, GO!" Chuck yelled after her  
"Sarah wait!" but she didn't hear him so he ran to his car. Inside his car he quickly proceeded to fumble with the starter key before finally starting it, the car roar to life just as chuck floored the motor in an attempt to catch up to her. His hand just happened to hit the radio in all of the chaos; the radio was playing drive by the cars.

**You can't go on, thinking, nothings wrong**

**What now  
whose gonna drive you home, tonight**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sarah was crying again, she was so happy to see him again it was as if a massive weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She had become so angry with everyone that they gave her the nickname of black widow. She had refused to do any seduction missions in the last nine years out of respect to him or at least that's what she told her self. She always thought it was gross or revolting to do one, she only did red ops it was really one of the few things they would let her do. She had to take months of CIA sanctioned therapy sessions before they would even think about letting her back into the CIA. Even then her age limited her to curtain missions. But they gave her lots of missions; she was still the best at what she did. Then came BLACKSPARROW a yearlong deep cover mission that ended badly.

"Sarah, Sarah, wait" she turned around to see Chuck in the most beautiful car she had ever laid eye's on. When Chuck pulled up next to her she was awe struck, he opened the passenger side door and spoke.

"Sarah get in I'll give you a ride home, this is no town to walk home while warring that so get in." she did as he said still awe struck by the car.

"Wow what a car, Chuck ware did you get this?" she was mesmerized by the car it was beautiful. She must not know anything about the past nine years he mused to himself.

"Sarah I think we need to talk" Sarah had a bad feeling about this; about a month before she left him she had a dream. It was Chuck with longer hair sitting at the fountain with her at their old place in Echo-park. He was telling her about how he wanted a real life and that they could never work, she later learned from chuck that it was a memory from years earlier. That dream haunted her so bad that she started thinking about if it happened again if he changed his mind and dumped her. She decided to leave him if only to save her the pain of losing him. It was the biggest mistake of her life she did irreversible damage to him. Everyday she regretted that decision, she wished she could do it different, to right the wrongs.

"Chuck I'm sorry I'd love to answer all your questions but please just take me home I'm really tired." Chuck was a little disappointed but most of all upset that he couldn't tell her what he was about to.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It was funny Sarah was so tired that right be for she fell asleep she told him her address then off she went into dream land. Now they were in front of her building with Sarah asleep in his passenger seat.

"Okay Sarah lets get you off to bed" he got out of the car and opened up her door before proceeding to pick her up and carrying her to her apartment. They were getting close to the door of her apartment when she stirred a little.

"Chuck what are you doing?" asked a very groggy Sarah as she took in her surroundings quickly realizing that he carried her all the way up to her apartment.

"I'm taking you to your apartment" he had a very unmistakable grin on his face, he had forgotten how cute she was when she was just waking up, it brought back so many good memories. The door opened and Chuck gently let her down onto the floor.

"Thanks for the ride Chuck that was really nice of you."

"It's no big deal really," Chuck never could take a compliment he was too bashful about it. She politely excused her self and went to go change. Chuck took the time to look around her apartment. The place was very empty almost lifeless although there was one picture on the desk, he walked over to it and picked it up. The picture was of Chuck and the rest of the Bartowski's at the wedding reception of his wedding, in sharpie was the word _FAMILY _on the back. He had to smile at the picture it was a picture he always loved. He missed those times when everybody was happy, when everything was good, and most of all when he wasn't alone in his big old mansion with nobody to share it with, nobody to hold at night. He turned around after putting the photo down and spoke to Sarah who was walking back into the room.

"Before anything else is said I just have to say this, it's so good to see you." Sarah said nothing just crept closer her eye's became foggier and foggier while filling with tears her lip was quivering. She closed the distance between them and captured him in a sad hug sobbing loudly while burying her head in his chest. He didn't know where this was coming from but did the only thing that felt right in this situation he hugged her back, tightly securely, she was inconsolable, nine years of depression and repressed guilt came bubbling up to the surface and continued to poor out.

"Shhh shh sh it's okay let it out I'm hear, I'm hear." She continued to cry for several minutes until she finally spoke.

"I missed you so much I thought you had killed yourself, after I watched the security cameras in our apartment I cried and cried that day cause I killed you, I had murdered an innocent man because I was afraid you would dump me. I missed you for so long and I made the biggest mistake in leaving you I'm so sorry Chuck I'm so sorry about everything I was a fool for doing what I did and I know that I don't deserve forgiveness but will you forgive me Chuck please forgive me" chuck was practically crying now as Sarah spoke.

"Look at me, you don't deserve forgiveness, do you know why?"

"No why?" she was looking into his eye's now, they where like deep pools of brown.

"There is nothing to forgive you did nothing wrong, you acted how you thought was necessary and I can respect that. But if you seriously do need to hear it then yes I forgive you." She broke out into a timid smile as if the dark cloud over her life was finally gone.

"Thank you Chuck, thank you for always being there when I need you most." She kissed him on the lips, she needed the kiss, and she needed the closure that went with it. The kiss was almost cautious, timid even like they were afraid. Sarah was putting everything she had into the kiss but Chuck was holding back. She quickly realized that something was wrong.

"What's wrong?" she was truly concerned by the look on his face.

"I can't do this, I can't loose you again. If this were to escalate any further it will crush me. Then tomorrow you'll go back to Washington and I'll never see you again, I can't loose you twice my heart can't take it, I can't take the thought of going home to my big empty house. I refuse to get hurt again I'm sorry I just can't do it." Chuck was backing away while shaking his head side to side.

"It's okay I probably shouldn't either, well it was great seeing you maybe we can get coffee sometime."

"That would be great. Well I have to get going." He was walking towards the door when Sarah grabbed him and spun him around.

"I'm glad your not dead Chuck" she said that with such sincerity and finality that it shook him to the core.

"You have a nice life, goodbye Sarah" he closed the door and walked away from her apartment it was the end of an era, an era of tragedy and heartbreak of sadness and depression. As his car sped off into the distance the signature Bartowski smile made its triumphant return. he was happy for the first time in a long time.

_**AN... YES THIS WAS KIND OF SAPPY BUT LETS BE REAL IF YOU LEFT SOMEONE YOU LOVED AND YOU THOUGHT THEY KILLED THEMSELVES BECAUSE OF IT HOW WOULD FEEL HOW WOULD YOU DEAL WITH THE GUILT. I THINK THAT SARAH BREAKING DOWN LKE SHE DID IN HER APARTMENT IS HOW ANYONE WOULD REACT IF THAT LOVED ONE TURNED OUT TO BE ALIVE AFTER ALL. HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT. **_


	5. Chapter 5

_**AN: THIS IS REALLY REALLY REALLY SHORT I KNOW BUT IT WAS ALL I COULD COME UP WITH IM SUFFERING FROM WRITERS BLOCK.**_

_**AN: IM GONNA TAKE TIME OFF FROM THIS ONE AND WRITE OTHER FICS I HOPES THAT I COULD GET PAST THIS WRITER'S BLOCK.**_

_**AN: I DON'T OWN CHUCK.**_

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 5: Beckman

2 Weeks Later

Beckman was furious, Sarah had found out, she new it was only a matter of time before Sarah came in here and let her have it. Sarah was never supposed to find out about Chuck, that wasn't part of the plan. She hated the plan it was a stupid idea, keeping chuck from her was never a promising endeavor. They had seen just how badly his _death _had affected her, she cried almost every night, she blamed her self, and she felt so alone. She refused to do any seduction missions out of respect of her _late _husband, and she hadn't, only red ops. She took her anger out on everyone she killed she wanted them to feel the pain that she felt. She was always getting into fights with other agents about him. They always talked about him as the wimpy nerd that didn't deserve such an attractive woman as a wife. She always corrected them always. It got so bad that the government actually sent out a mandate warning about the consequences of provoking Sarah Bartowski. Instead they gave her the nickname **THE BLACK WIDOW**_. _It took months of therapy to even get her to a functional state. Beckman always felt bad about doing this to her but it was out of her hands. They actually gave her so many missions that Sarah never had time to keep up with pop culture or even news for that matter. She was distracted from her musings when the door flung open.

"You, you new, you new and you kept him from me!" Beckman had never seen such rage in Sarah before.

"You kept the only man who ever truly cared about me away from me! He loved me and yes I was the one who left but it was never supposed to end like this. He spent nine years looking for me he wasted nine years of his life." Tears were in Sarah's eyes ready to spill as Beckman spoke.

"You were never supposed to find out about him it was never part of the plan" Sarah who had been looking at the floor while Beckman spoke suddenly looked up the rage in her eyes would turn the strongest of men into stone at one glimpse.

"The plan?"

"We needed you cold, emotionless, unflinching. We need Sarah Walker the wild card enforcer, not Sarah Bartowski the soft woman you had become. We needed the old you" Beckman was truly afraid of what Sarah would do next.

"General Beckman I would like to hand in my resignation from the CIA" Sarah was standing over Beckman who was sitting in her chair. Sarah turned around and walked to the door but paused she turned her head slightly and spoke.

"I expected better from you general, I would appreciate it if you would hand my resignation over to General Patreius and the administrators at the CIA." She walked out of Beckman's office and quickly disappeared down the busy hallway. As Sarah walked back to her car a smile crept onto her face.  
"Time to go home, Time to go back to my Chuck" she sped off into the distance.

**_AN: HOPE YOU HAVE ENJOYED THIS ONE PROBABLY WON'T UPDATE THIS ONE UNTIL THE NEW YEAR SO UNTIL NEXT TIME._**

**_AN: I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A CHUCK HIGHSCHOOL FIC SO PROBABLY GONNA WORK ON THAT ONE._**


	6. Chapter 6

**_AN: SO GOT INSPIRED FOR THIS CHAPTER LITERALLY TWO DAYS AFTER THE PREVIOUS POST._**

**_AN: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT._**

**_AN: THIS CHAPTER WAS NOT FUN TO WRITE ONLY BECAUSE OF THE FIRST PART THOUGH THAT PART IS REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT SO ENJOY._**

**_AN: PLEASE REVIEW CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM APPRECIATED. _**

**_AN: I DON'T OWN CHUCK BUT GOSH THAT WOULD BE COOL. _**

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 6: BLACKSPARROW

Pain plain and simple that's all she felt pain everywhere. Her head was bleeding her hand was broken they had her bent over strapped to the table. She couldn't remember what time it was or how long it had been but all she new was that they had stopped rapping her, thank the lord that they finally stopped. She quit fighting after the 35th guy at least she thought it was the 35th guy she wasn't sure, she hadn't stopped crying though. She had cuts all up and down her naked back her beautiful face had been beaten beyond recognition, her lip was swollen and bleeding. Her eye was swollen shut and she had a large gash on her forehead. To the uninitiated you wouldn't even know it was her. She was distracted from her musings by the sound of the door opening she was panic stricken she didn't know who was behind her, he laughed and it terrified her she was helpless and alone. Suddenly a sharp pain ripped through her body causing her to shriek in pain. He laughed again as the tears poured down her face; he grabbed ahold of her hair as her entered her forcefully; angrily there it was again the pain excruciating pain.

"So tell me Agent Walker do you know what this place is?" her voice was shaky at best she was afraid to answer, she didn't know the answer.

"No" it was barely a whisper but he heard it.

"This place Agent Walker is called BLACKSPARROW" he continued his assault on her when he spoke again.

"Say it Agent Walker Say it"

"BLACKSPARROW, BLACKSPARROW, BLACKSPARROW!" she continued to yell it over and over as he laughed.

"BLACKSPARROW, BLACKSPARROW, BLACKSPARROW!" she shrieked when he zapped her with the cattle prod on her.

"BLACKSPARROW!"

"Miss"

"BLACKSPARROW!"

"Miss"

"BLACKSPARROW!"

"Hey miss, hey wake up we are about to land." Sarah awoke from her sleep and looked up at the stewardess.

"What?" there was tears running down her face she must have been crying in her sleep.

"You were whimpering in your sleep and it was bothering the other passengers." Sarah was embarrassed she never did this.

"Oh sorry" she looked down at her shaking hands, there was an old lady sitting next to her that spoke next.

"Hey give the young lady a break she is clearly scared. Will you please leave us alone?" The stewardess walked away quickly to sit down in the back.

"Hey young lady you want to talk about it? You seem pretty upset." Sarah contemplated her question for a moment it was a good question did she want to talk about it, her therapist always told her that she shouldn't keep these things bottled up inside, that this kind of thing needed to be talked about why not start now.

"Sure I guess, well about 2 years ago I was taken hostage by some _(how should I word this)_ criminals for around 5 months."

"That's horrible" she couldn't tell this woman the whole truth but this was a start.

"It gets worse, they did things, horrible things, over and over" Sarah's voice broke she took a second to collect her self the old lady was captivated by this girl's story and quiet frankly she felt bad for the girl.

"If it wasn't for the CIA team that came and found me in Burma I probably would have died there in that hell hole." She couldn't hold back the flood gates any longer thinking about those months with those bastards were bringing back a hole slew of emotions. She let her head fall into her hands and started to silently sob into her hands.

"Hey it is okay here take my hanker chief" she handed Sarah her hanky which she promptly used to wipe her eyes the old lady spoke.

"Just remember they can't hurt you anymore" Sarah gave her a shaky smile before nodding yes.

"Young lady my name is Samantha Barstow I'm a featured reporter for the Burbank Nightly News on channel 6 and I would like to put your story on the news if that's okay with you." Sarah looked up in shock at what she just heard.

"What, really you want me on the news?" Samantha nodded at Sarah

"Well in that case, hi I'm Sarah Walker" Samantha looked at Sarah with shock.

"Sarah Walker, so your Chuck Bartowski's ex wife?" Sarah nodded in shock how did this woman know her name and of her short marriage to one Charles Irving Bartowski.

"Wow it's great to finally meet you, I interviewed your ex husband Chuck Bartowski about 6 years ago right after his new video game came out" Sarah was shocked.

"That was so long ago how could you remember something so vague?"

"Yes it was a long time ago but his story was so fascinating he told the story of his career in the CIA minus anything that could endanger anyone still in the CIA, how could I forget"

"What a funny coincidence" Sarah laughed to herself.

"Yes, he never told us what you did but he still has the utmost respect for you, when I interviewed him he said nothing but nice things about you" Sarah gave a sad smile.

"Yes he is a nice guy I made such a big mistake leaving him so many years ago if I could do anything over in my entire life I would have stayed." Sarah was very somber which touched Samantha.

"Well Sarah if it's alright would you do an interview and tell me your story?" Sarah nodded her head and Samantha handed her a card. Just then the plane touched down and the pilot came over the PA.

"Ladies and gentlemen welcome to Los Angelis International Airport the current time is 3:00 P.M. it is currently 74 degrees and sunny hope you enjoy your stay in LA." it wasn't even 10 minutes before they were stopped at there gate everybody stood up but before Sarah could get off Samantha grabbed her arm and spoke.

"I'm going to guess you are here to patch things up with Chuck?"

"Yes I am, I hope he'll take me back."

"Well I hope you succeed you look like you're a nice girl it would be a shame if you two didn't get back together."

"Here is my phone number incase you need to reach me Ms. Barstow." Sarah handed her a piece of paper with her phone number on it and got out of her row to grab her bag. Sarah exited the plane and proceeded to the rental car service.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

10 hours later

1:47 A.M.

The Residence of Colonel and Mrs. John Casey

Casey was 51 years old, retired, happily married and had one kid. Life was good. He retired from the NSA after BLACKSPARROW, he decided it was time to retire but he was okay with that. He now worked full time as chief of security for Bartowski Technologies and Cyber-Security or BTC for short, it was a good job paid well, good hours. Chuck once told him the story of Sarah and Chucks future plans for Carmichael industries cyber security they had high hopes for that. Then she left and it all went to hell. He spiraled simple as that Chuck spiraled deeper and deeper into depression, you could ask him about it but he never gave you an inch never an indicator just put on the fake smile and went about his business. She left, it was unbelievable after all she put him through all the pain and heartbreak she put him through. After all the shit about Shaw and her real name they got together and never looked back.

Then Quinn came, he changed everything, erased all her memories of Chuck like he never even existed. It wasn't a year before those two had problems. Boom she was gone, disappeared, vanished into thin air. Only a note any indicator that she was ever there at all. Fast-forward seven year's, he could picture it like it was yesterday the old warehouse in Burma. He could still see all the mangled and mutilated bodies of those unlucky enough to be sent to BLACKSPARROW he remembered kicking down the door and seeing her there stark naked strapped to the table her beautiful golden hair matted and bloody, the bruises and burn marks on her back. The lash marks from where they whipped her, the cuts and bruises from ware they had beaten her. He remembered how thin she was starved for months living on water and bread. He remembered carrying her through the hallways the blue in her beautiful eyes gone replaced with darkness and fear, he remembered. It was months before they got her back to perfect health and even then psychologically she was a train wreck for the first week all she said was the same word over and over… BLACKSPARROW BLACKSPARROW BLACKSPARROW.

It was late but he didn't care he was up late every night, tonight though was different it was the anniversary of BLACKSPARROW two years to the day. He was distracted from his musings by a sound coming from the other room, his training instantly kicked in he grabbed a knife from the kitchen dror and walked closer to the sound. He turned the corner into his living room and flicked on the light.

"You got a lot of nerve showing up here" she sat on the couch looking up at him.

"Nice to see you too Casey" Sarah looked up at him and smiled.

"What do you want Sarah?"

"Is that any way to talk to an old friend?"

"Let me guess, tomorrow your gonna waltz on over to Chucks place all primped and primed, then you'll flash your pearly whites, show some cleavage, flirt, laugh at all his stupid jokes. You'll do what every CIA skirt does, you'll seduce him get a smile on his face, get him back in the saddle. Then once you've regained his trust you'll use him. You need a place to stay and he is loaded. You won't love him no of coarse not you would never love him. You have so plainly established that, you'll use him for his money then once you have no use for him you'll discard him like trash. How could you ever have loved him he is totally not your type. Cole, Bryce, Shaw they are your, type CIA scum like your self. Go back to them you deserve them not him, not someone as good as him. The fact that you even thought you deserved a guy like him shows how mean and cold hearted you really are. Leave here, leave now and don't come back, I won't allow you to hurt him anymore." He was furious that she would even show her face around here let lone try and patch things up with chuck. She never realized how many bridges she burned when she left.

Chuck it seemed was the only one who didn't totally despise her Casey sure did, but who was she kidding everything he said for the most part was true.

"Your right Casey I don't deserve him not even in the slightest bit but he deserves a woman who would love him more than her own life, a woman who can be there for him when he needs them. I can be that woman now. I can help get him through the bad times, I can help him deal with the demons and he can help me with mine. See were two of kind Chuck and I, we are perfect for each other. I gave him demons I caused all of it between the depression, trust issues and the nagging insecurity I either created or reinforced those demons. Nobody ever teaches you how to have a stable relationship I sure as hell didn't know how. I never had any stable relationships during my childhood and went straight into the CIA after high school they teach you mot to have them at all, then I meet him and realized what I had been missing my entire life. Yes I led him on for three years I played with his emotions to get what I wanted and yes I even told Shaw my real name, after years of Chuck wishing for me to open up and tell him something real all it took was a smile and a hug from Daniel Shaw to get me to open up. All I want is a chance to redeem my mistakes to right the wrongs, and god willing, start a family. But it's not about what I want, if he will take me back, if he will allow me to start over and to help him then I will never hurt him again for as long as I live he will never hurt again you have my word." The tears were welling up in her eyes ever since BLACKSPARROW she had been an emotional train wreck that was almost two years ago. Casey had been the one who saved her in Burma, he rescued her from that hellhole. She was eternally grateful for that and had simply stopped by to thank him, she never got a chance so many years ago. When they got back to the states she was sent to a bunker for a year to recover and when she got out she was far to badly damaged psychologically to care about anyone or anything she had a death wish, she wanted to die she took deadlier missions in hopes that one would finally be to much and she would die a good soldier and finally get to see Chuck again see would finally have peace.

"Sarah that's all fine and good but it still doesn't answer my question why are you here?"

"I came over here to tell you something important to me"

"Well, what is it?" he was getting frustrated with this, he was tired and wanted to go to sleep.

"Thank you for saving me in Burma I am eternally grateful that you found me"

"Oh, well your welcome I guess I couldn't let my best partner die in some god forsaken country. Regardless of what I think of you and Chuck you can always count on me as a partner." She gave him a timid smile.

"Well I'm sorry for disturbing you at such a late hour now if you'll excuse me I should be going." She proceeded to walk past him and out the back sliding door" Gertrude walked up behind Casey and wrapped her arms around his waist and spoke.

"Who was that honey?" she asked as she kissed his neck lightly.

"Oh nobody just an old friend" she looked at him like he was crazy.

"Come to bed honey I'm tired" she walked back into there room.

**_AN: WELL THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL HAVE CHARAH GOODNESS I PROMISE UNTIL NEXT TIME._**


	7. Chapter 7

**_AN: WELL THIS IS THE FIRST OF THREE "FLUFF" CHAPTERS I HAVE PLANED_**

**_AN: IT WAS FUN WRITING SOMETHING HAPPY FOR ONCE_**

**_AN: PLEASE REVIEW CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM GREATLY APPRECIATED_**

**_AN: ENJOY THIS CHAPTER I THOUGHT THAT MAYBE IT WAS TIME TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD_**

**_I DON'T OWN CHUCK _**

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 7:

Messages From A Distant Angel 

Chuck's private estate

11:00 A.M.

3 days later

Sarah was afraid; terrified is probably a better word for it. She needed to talk to Chuck very badly but was too scared, it was a scary thought, confronting him and talking about it. She new that he would get angry it was a fact that she had accepted. If he weren't mad she would be very surprised. Quite frankly he deserved to be mad and it probably would help if he got all the anger out in the open if only so that she could help him deal with it. She didn't know how to go about confronting him so she devised a plan to let him confront her on his own terms. Yes the plan was sort of a cop out but she didn't care. The plan was almost in place all that was left was to wait for Chuck to confront her. He was always better at the emotional stuff. More then likely he wouldn't take her back but maybe just maybe he'd let her in and she could help him with the anger and the demons. She truly felt horrible about all the crap she had given him over the nearly six years that she new him, it was a testament to how trusting and dedicated he really was. After this latest fiasco Sarah could never expect that kind of dedication from him. There he was a sleep in his bed, he looked so peaceful now. She was currently in his bedroom that technically she broke into so that she could set up her plan that so far had all gone according to plan. She was currently laying the note down on his dresser when he stirred a little; she froze and stared at him wide eyed waiting for him to wake up from all her noise. Luckily Chuck didn't wake up and she had enough time to finish all the preparations for her plan. After everything was done she quickly and silently left the premises so she could go to work at her new job.

30 minutes later

As the sun shined in through the window waking Chuck from his wrestles sleep. He ran his fingers through his long unruly hair, rubbing his eye's trying to wake up. It was Christmas break at BTC and he gave everybody a payed month off for the holidays, BTC could afford it so why not give everybody the nice little early Christmas gift. He turned over on his bed and sat up, stretched and yawned. He was tired after working on his latest project well into the night again; he had a real problem with that. As his mind began to un-fog and he became more alert he notice the faint smell in the air.

"Is that perfume?" he took in a deep whiff and instantly recognized the scent, Sarah used to ware that perfume she new he loved it so she wore it.

"That's peculiar." He thought nothing of it and stood up quickly walking over to his dresser to start the day. He noticed a small piece of paper lying there on his dresser when he got up to his dresser.

_Go down stairs_

"Interesting" he put on an old tee shirt and some sweats and walked down stairs where he quickly noticed another note.

_Go into the kitchen_

He walked into the kitchen and saw it, on the kitchen table was a place mate and a plate with utensils and everything. He gasped at what was on the plate; on the plate was bacon and pancakes. There was a note sitting next to the place setting.

_Good morning Chuck, there are very important things we need to talk about. Enjoy your breakfast, when you're ready to talk, come down to the Buymore and find me_

_SW_

He was in pure shock did she really do this? Did she really set all this up? No she couldn't, she wouldn't, would she? That would definitely explain the smell in his room. He sat down and started to enjoy a piece of bacon when it dawned to him.

"She was here!? No way!" there was no way he just couldn't believe it. Forgetting all about breakfast he sprinted back up to his room to get dressed for the day.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

1:30 P.M.

Buymore parking lot

Chuck pulled his car into a parking spot towards the back of the parking lot and exited his car. Chuck was very protective of his Lamborghini so he usually parked as far back as he could. Chuck quickly walked into the Buymore and looked around the store, there was nothing out of the ordinary.

"Hey Chuck what brings you into my store today?" Morgan was walking toward him as chuck spoke.

"Well this morning I found this note on my kitchen table." Chuck handed Morgan the note, which Morgan proceeded to read. Morgan was reading the note when he replied.

"Oh" he looked up "OH!" Morgan was shocked at what it said.

"Yeah I know it said to meet here so here I am."

"I don't know Chuck that's weird, I haven't seen her here." Just then they heard the front doors open. Chuck turned around to look and gasped at whom it was.

"Hello Chuck" Sarah Gave him a smile that would light up even the darkest of rooms. Chuck was speechless she looked so beautiful. Sarah walked closer to him and gave him a hug.

"Um he-hello Sarah ho-how are you?" she laughed at his speechlessness.

"Chuck I think its time for us to have a little talk." Chuck nodded and followed Sarah out the front of the store.

"Gosh where to start, where to start. Oh right, I used the glasses you gave me." Chuck stopped in his tracks and looked at her.

"You used them?" He was hoping, begging, pleading that she was telling the truth. The vulnerability came through when he said that, which touched Sarah the most. She nodded and broke into a sad smile the tears welling up in both their eyes. She ran into his arms and the tears started falling.

"Oh Chuck I missed you so much, I remember everything and I couldn't be happier right now." She kissed him in a fire of passion that he quickly reciprocated. It was at least five minutes before they broke their embrace.

"Oh Sarah you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that I was starting to think I'd never get you back." He kissed her again before pulling away.  
"Wait a minute you were in my house, one how did you know where I live? and two how did you get in? I have the best security system in the world." He chuckled that she got in, so much for worlds best security system. But who was he kidding she was Sarah Walker badass spy. Sarah giggled at him playfully, god how she had missed this. It had been far to long and right now Sarah was having more fun then she had in many, many years.

"Chuck first of all Google Maps, Second I was the CIA's best agent for nearly 20 years if I can't get into your house then I'd be really disappointed in myself considering I've only been out of the CIA for three days." It took a while for Chuck to totally absorb that last statement made by Sarah. She giggled at his dumbfoundedness, it was so cute how speechless all this was rendering him. She couldn't resist it any longer she had to kiss him; she hadn't been able to do that for to long so she did, she kissed him. She poured everything she had into the kiss desperately trying to make up for lost time, it was tragic how the fates had kept them apart for so long even if indirectly.

Morgan had a big smile on his face at seeing the site in front of him even though they were across the parking lot he could still see Chuck and Sarah.

"Good for you Chuck." Big mike walked up next to Morgan and put his arm over Morgan's shoulder.

"Hey son is that Bartowski?" Morgan nodded. "BARTOWSKI!" Chuck looked around trying to locate the voice he heard, he looked towards the Buymore and spotted Big Mike and Morgan.

"WHAT?" He yelled, Chuck was really enjoying kissing Sarah right now so the sooner he could be done with this conversation the better.

"THANKS FOR BUYING THE CONCERT TICKETS THAT WAS REALLY GENEROUS OF YOU!" Chuck smiled then spoke.

"YOU'RE WELCOME" Sarah unlatched from Chuck's embrace and gave a big smile and wave to Big Mike.

"HI BIG MIKE!" she giggled at Chuck again she just couldn't stop giggling at him she was so giddy and happy. She could gladly say that she was madly in love with him and nothing could change that.

"Well miss Walker care to join me for a tour of Casa Bartowski." She gave him a happy smile and nodded yes.

"Well then we best get going, come on I have a lot to show you." They got over to Sarah's car when Chuck grabbed her and spun her into his embrace before planting a loving kiss on her waiting lips.

"You know how to get there right?" Sarah nodded yes.

"Race you there? Bet you can't beat me." Sarah was shocked and intrigued at the same time.

"Oh your so on." She quickly climbed into her brand new Porsche, the car roared to life and the tires screeched. Chuck was sprinting towards his car when he heard the screech of her tires. He climbed into the cab of his Lamborghini and started the massive V12 engine and engaged the sport mode.

"Okay Sarah lets roll" he stomped on the throttle and the car sped away. He suddenly realized she didn't have his gate code so he grabbed his phone and called her.

"Yes Chuck, called to give up all ready?" Sarah was feeling extra confident in her driving abilities at the moment.

"No Sarah of coarse not I just called to tell you my gate code."

"Oh, okay what is it." Sarah was focused on winning at the moment she really wanted to beat Chuck.

"It's 092407."

Chuck spoke quickly before noticing her car just ahead of him about 100 yards away.

"Okay thanks Chuck see you later." She was about to hang up when Chuck spoke again.

"Oh and Sarah just to let you know I just past you in traffic bye." He hung up quickly before she could reply, laughed a hearty laugh out of a combination of joy and excitement. Unbelievable he past her she couldn't believe it, it was kind of unfair his car was much faster then hers, that was the excuse she was telling herself as she stomped on the throttle.

XXXXXXXXXX

Same time

Unknown location

He looked at the computer screen and listened to the audio as the door behind him opened.

"Well did you get the code?" asked a mysterious man, the man was tall and well built the intimidator type. The man wore a long trench coat.

"Yes sir 092407." If the mysterious man could he would have smiled at the news everything was going according to plan.

"Good now we wait for the right moment then we strike them where it hurts most… there hearts." The man laughed manically and walked out of the room.

XXXXXXXXXX

Casa Bartowski

1 hour later

Sarah arrived at Chucks estate and entered threw the gate. The place was very big kind of like Aaron Spelling's home. Massive front yard stone driveway leading to a fountain then to either the front door or the garage depending on what path you took. She decided to try the garage, when she arrived at the garage she noticed a keypad on the wall outside. Sarah got out of her car and walked up to it. Before she could press any buttons it spoke in a typical robot voice.

"Hello miss walker want to enter the garage?" Sarah was a little freaked out how did this thing know her name and further more recognize her?

"Yes" Sarah said apprehensively; the garage door opened and inside was Chuck sitting on the front of his 1969 mustang. She quickly parked her car and exited.

"Hello Sarah how was the drive?" Sarah couldn't believe he beat her hear, she took the fastest route possible.

"How did you beat me here?"

"Well you missed an exit that would have taken about fifteen minutes off of your trip, I didn't miss it and beat you hear also my car is way faster then yours is." Sarah gave him a fake pouting face and walked closer to him.

"Well then I guess I lost, now what Mr. Bartowski?" Sarah spoke with such a sultry tone that Chuck's breath caught in his throat.

"Um well how about a tour of the place?" She nodded and followed him into the house. Chuck led her throughout the large mansion all the various bedrooms and bathrooms, the pool house, home theater room, the living and dinning rooms. Finally there was only one room left, Chuck's office Chuck never let anybody go in there he had told her but he said that he had something she needed to see.

"Okay Sarah this is my office" he slowly opened the door and she walked in, it was the first thing she saw.

"Oh my god Chuck" she was in shock after all this time he still had it.

"There yours, they've been sitting hear waiting." She was tearing up, she was so happy he kept them she missed all of this she had abandoned him and yet here she was it was one of the happiest days of her life. Chuck opened the glass case and pulled out her wedding ring and slipped it onto her finger.

"Welcome home Sarah." Se ran into his arms and hugged him, kissed him, she was so happy.

"Chuck I can honestly say I love you so much and nothing is ever gonna change that." Chuck suddenly got really nervous she loved him, but he had heard that before. This was different she was back, she remembered. So what that doesn't change any thing. He smiled at her and nodded. Sarah notice the sudden change in his demeanor she notice how he didn't say it back, she contributed that to the abandonment issues and that he probably didn't trust her totally just yet. She felt so sorry for him he gave her his heart and she killed it, stomped on it repeatedly. He always loved her though but now she couldn't be sure, one thing she was sure of was that she would do whatever it took to get him to trust her again even if that meant stripping down and making passionate love to him nonstop for a week she would do whatever it took to get him back, She would never leave him again.

**_AN: WELL THERE YOU GO FLUFF CHAPTER #1 HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING THIS AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT_**

**_AN: THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE CALLED DEMONS AND WILL DEAL WITH SOME OF THE DEMONS THAT CHUCK AND SARAH HAVE LESS HAPPY BUT EQUALY FLUFFY _****_UNTIL NEXT TIME _**


	8. Chapter 8

**_AN: FIRST OF ALL MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY HOPE YOU ENJOY YOUR HOLIDAY._****_  
_**

**_AN: THIS IS A REALLY REALLY REALLY LONG CHAPTER THATS WHY IT TOOK LONGER TO UPDATE I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT BY THE WAY._**

**_AN: THIS CHAPTER TURNED OUT DARKER THEN I ORIGINALLY THOUGHT SO THIS ISN'T REALLY A FLUFF CHAPTER SORRY ABOUT THAT I KNOW I PROMISED FLUFF BUT I GUESS THAT'S JUST HOW IT GOES. _**

**_AN: PLEASE REVIEW CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM GREATLY APPRECIATED._**

* * *

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 8: The Thunder 

17 Days Later

Chuck's Private Estate

2:05 A.M.

It was an unusual occurrence in California it was raining hard, really, really hard as a matter of fact. It had been storming all night and between the storm it self and a trembling Sarah he hadn't slept a wink. She was afraid of the thunder it was clear that was what was causing her anxiety. He new that if he asked she would put up the walls and tell him it was nothing, so he would do what he could do. He would hold her close, wipe her tears and speak soothing words into her ear. Sarah had moved in with him a couple days after they reconnected, they were still working out the kinks but it was coming along. They had buy in large avoided talking about Sarah's 9-year stint with the CIA after she left. They both new they needed to have the discussion about there time apart but neither really wanted to take that plunge just yet, everything was going so good and neither of them wanted to mess things up. There was a load crack of thunder and Sarah's trembling body shook in fear.

"It's okay Sarah I'm right here, I'll always be here, where ever you go I'll be there to save you. Whenever you breakdown I'll be there to dry your tears, I love you Sarah, always remember that." He gently kissed her on the head and continued to lie there and comfort her until she fell into a restless sleep.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sarah's Dream's

The BLACKSPARROW mission

2 Years Earlier

Sarah was scared to death, her target had captured her and who new what he would do to her. The Masked Man as they called him in some circles was notorious for brutally torturing his captives beyond recognition before killing them.

"Well if it isn't the famous Sarah Walker, So Glad you could join us tonight. Not that you had any choice in the matter." He laughed at her manically as he walked closer to her tied up form. She tried as hard as she could to move away from him.

"So Agent Walker for someone who is nearly 40 years old you, look, _ravishing." _ His metal face was mere inches from her face when he spoke those words. This man disgusted her; he was the scum of the earth. If only she hadn't missed that shot, then she wouldn't be here.

"Well, what are you gonna do to me? Beat me? Torture me? Make me suffer? Well I'll tell you something, I would die before you heard a peep out of me." She gave him a very smug look as his masked face backed away from her. He simply laughed at her remark before speaking again in a dark husky almost mechanical tone.

"No I have something planed, much better than that. I think you'll enjoy it more than I will; I look forward to watching you scream and beg for mercy. You see that over there in the back?" He grabbed her face and pointed it towards the room in the back.

"That is were I put Sex Slaves like what your gonna become." She looked at him in horror; she couldn't believe what he just said.

"You bastard!" she yelled at him in a frightened tone.

"Yes that's right your gonna be my little slave, my little fuck toy available at my every beck and call. Then once your spent and useless to me I'm going to chop you up and send your pieces to your Ex-husband." She looked at him in horror he new of Chuck? of her Chuck.

"Just imagine the horror on his face when he opens that box and there you are with a big, red, bow." She vomited all over the place then looked at him trembling. She spoke in a very shaky voice.

"My Ex-husband is dead." The masked man turned around and looked at her with his steel face.

"Really, tell me Agent Walker how did he die?" of coarse he already knew the truth about Chuck and his legendary past. But he just loved making her squirm. She couldn't bear to say it, she brought the words to the tip of her tongue but she couldn't.

"SAY IT!" He bellowed as he whipped her in the back causing her to shriek out in pain.

"He killed himself" she started to sob uncontrollably her arms still chained to the bar above her head.

"Yes, yes he did now tell me why he killed himself." He laughed at her pain, to him it was satisfying to torture a victim both physically and emotionally he liked to break their spirits before killing them.

"He killed himself because I left him one morning seven years ago." Her tears were running down her face and on to the floor. He continued to laugh at her before he spoke.

"Now I want you to remember something, he gave you everything Agent Walker. All he had he gave to you. Nearly six years of his life all for you, and what did you do?" She couldn't speak racked by sobs, for years she had repressed that memory only allowing herself one day a year to mourn the biggest mistake of her life.

"I left, I destroyed everything he and I had built, I crushed it all and now he is dead!" She sobbed loudly the emotions of it all overcoming her.

"Well then I guess you'll meet him in hell where you belong." She continued to cry, her life was over she new that she would die in this hellhole. Just like many others probably did. Once she was died he'd be next he would enjoy that quite a bit.

"Agent Walker when I'm done with you there will be nothing left to identify your dead broken body. Boys lets show this beautiful lady to her new room." He laughed as two big burly men untied her and picked her up.

"Remember gentlemen she won't be needing her clothing so if you would please." He laughed, as the limp body of an emotionally broken Sarah Walker was stripped nude and drug into the back room where nobody would hear screams.

XXXXXXXXXX

Chuck's Bedroom

10:39 A.M.

It was still raining but the thunder had subsided. He woke up groggy and still a bit tired from the events of the previous night; he still wondered what that was all about but whatever. He turned over to check on Sarah who he assumed would still be asleep after such a late night. When he turned over he was greeted to nothing, she wasn't there. He shot up in bed, his mind thinking the worst.

"No, she wouldn't, what are you thinking Chuck?" he smiled before shooting up out of bed to start the day. He quietly hummed a song to himself, as he got ready. After a quick shower chuck trotted down stairs and into the kitchen. He opened up the refrigerator and pulled out some orange juice. He grabbed a bowl and the Fruit Loops from the cabinet; he prepared a quick bowl of cereal and was taking it to the kitchen table when he saw a note on the table. He froze in place the bowl slipping from his fingers, milk and cereal splattering all over the floor. He tumbled down onto the floor slowly backing away into a corner his mind racing. No not again, this can't be happening again. He took a couple deep breathes, wait, calm down Chuck this isn't actually happening, people leave notes all the time. A timid smile appeared on his face as he got up and noticed the mess on the floor.

"Dang it that was my breakfast." He sighed in frustration as he picked up the broken pieces of the bowl and cleaned up the milk and cereal. Chuck walked over to the note curious as to what was written on it. He slowly picked up the note and read it's contents.

_Chuck,_

_I'm sorry but I have to leave, after last night I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself._

"SON OF A BITCH! SHE DID IT AGAIN, I CAN'T BELIEVE I FELL FOR HER TRICKS AGAIN!" He was so mad, not just at her but at him. He was a fool who saw a chance to get back what he lost, to fill the void in his blackening heart, to stop the loneliness and the sadness. He let her in again, gave her a second chance, a way to redeem herself and her mistake. Chuck sank to the floor a defeated man; he sat there contemplating everything and nothing at the same time. With so many thoughts buzzing through his head he became overwhelmed, he sank into his hands a started to silently sob. He felt so betrayed, so lost, so alone…

Sarah was so embarrassed after last night; she never wanted Chuck to see her like that. After they rescued her in Burma it took her months to recover from her physical and emotional injuries. She never was the same really; everyone said she had lost her edge, which was true. For months she didn't take care of herself at all which finally climaxed on December 21st 2021 when she attempted suicide. She wished for death, to finally have peace, for the pain to go away. But Carina found her there on her bathroom floor unconscious having purposefully ingested a dangerous amount of Ambien pills. Four days later she was diagnosed with Depression and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Last night she had a flashback triggered by the thunder, while in Burma there were many thunder storms so it was only logical that she began to associate thunder with BLACKSPARROW. She had panicked this morning and left to clear her head, haphazardly jotting something down on a note to tell Chuck what was up. The ringing of her phone distracted her from her thoughts, she picked up her phone and looked at the caller I.D. it was Chuck. A smile crept onto her face as she answered the phone.

"Hey Chuck what's up?" her voice was cheery but she would not receive the same level of cheeriness from him she never expected what came next.

"You bitch, you stupid fucking bitch." He said it almost maniacally laughing a little bit.

"I can't believe your leaving me again! God you know, how could you do this to me? After all that I've done for you. After I welcomed you into my home, gave you back the long lost memories of yours. But how do you repay me? You toy with my emotions then leave again!" she was flabbergasted by his sudden rant. She was speechless, rendered mute out of shock.

"Chuck I…" Sarah started but Chuck cut her off.

"No Sarah, no apologies, no explanations just leave. Go live your life whichever way you want, just remember unlike before my door isn't always open, in fact don't come back; you are not welcome here any more. Have a nice life Sarah hope it's all it's cracked up to be." With that he hung up leaving a confused and heartbroken Sarah walker to wonder what could have been and more importantly what just happened. She quickly redialed his phone but he rejected her call she tried again but Chuck rejected all her call's. Sarah racked her brain trying to think of a reason for his rage when it suddenly dawned on her.

"Oh my god the note." The note flashed threw her mind.

_Chuck,_

_I'm sorry but I have to leave, after last night I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself_

"Oh my god he misinterpreted my note." She was panicking he misinterpreted her note and now he was done with her, Sarah picked up her phone and dialed in one last final effort to get through to him… straight to voice mail

"Chuck please I beg of you call me back it's all a big misunderstanding if there is anything left of your broken heart please call me back." The tears were welling up in her eyes but she wouldn't cry not now at least, she had to fix this. Sarah stomped on the throttle and sped off into the early morning sun on a mission.

"I'm coming Chuck please don't give up on me." Fearing it was already to late she raced back towards Chucks place.

XXXXXXXXXX

Crushed wouldn't even describe how Chuck felt, he had seen all her calls. But it didn't matter now she got what she wanted, he had guarded his heart so carefully for such a long time and in 17 days she stripped him of all his armor she got threw all of his walls and latched onto his heart. He never realized how blind he had become of her games; he never realized how easily she regained his trust. He never realized how good of an actor she really was, she took what she needed then ran to let him deal with the fallout, guess you could say she was his fallout girl. Well it was all over now all he had left was an empty house and a hollow heart. He was currently sitting inside his home theater room watching the Dark Knight Rises. Chuck admired Bruce Wayne; he was rich, powerful, and lonely. The similarities between Bruce and Chuck were astounding, the only difference was that Chuck hadn't met his Bain yet, god willing he never would but the likelihood of that was very small. Bruce Wayne lost the one he loved; Bruce Wayne was a hero. You could say that Sarah was his Joker they couldn't live with each other, yet they couldn't live without each other.

Sarah burst threw the laundry room door connected to the garage she needed to find Chuck before he did anything drastic if he actually pulled the trigger this time Sarah new that would be it she would be over, gone, destroyed. She frantically searched the house in a mad race against time. She searched the upper floor first checking all but the master bedroom. She entered the master bedroom quietly shocked at what she saw. The room was a mess there was a big crack in the mirror, a lamp was broken shattered on the floor. She had a feeling this was her fault, she left the vague note and he freaked out, rightfully so in fact. She new she shouldn't have just run off like that, she was on thin ice as it was she diffidently shouldn't have done that not after she left him the first time. She couldn't help it she forgot to take her medication the night before and the thunder triggered her PTSD. That was the worst nightmare she had in a long time. She had to step out; the only problem was that she was in such a panic that she ran away from him and all the rest of it. She needed to sort this out with him and fast before he started the inevitable downward spiral. She always chastised herself for leaving him, instead of staying and working through her issues she ran away from her problems and in the process hurt the ones she loved. She left his bedroom slightly unnerved at the sight and headed downstairs to check the other rooms. She had check all but one room now which meant that he was in there, she breathed in deep to prepare herself for the coming fallout.

'You should be as afraid of Bain as I am'

Chuck was about half way through the movie when he heard the door open. At first he ignored it thinking that it was just the cleaning service. Sarah quietly sat down next to Chuck and watched the movie thinking about what to say.

"Did you ever notice the similarities between you and Bruce Wayne?" she contently watched the film waiting for his response.

"What do you want Sarah? Come to stomp on my heart some more?" Chuck laid on the bitterness really thick with that last statement. She could tell he was hurting really bad, she new this kind of thing was bound to happen eventually she needed to reassure him, comfort him and most of all they needed to have a talk.

"Chuck I came here to apologize and to sort this out…" Chuck stood up quickly and turned to her the tears welling up in his eyes.

"No not this time, no more apologies, no more second chances. Sarah, do you know what it's like to lose someone just because you were too nice? Because you did what was right? Do you know how bad that hurts to lose the one you love only because you scared her away, because you had too much intimacy, to much love? Do you know what it feels like to lose someone after all the pain and suffering you two endured? Do you know what it's like to lose the one who means more to you then even your own life, the one you would sacrifice everything just to see them smile? I do, I know, I know that feeling all to well. It feels terrible to know that they are gone and it's all your fault, that if you had done things differently they'd still be here in your loving arms still holding you and loving you. I know that pain and am not willing to suffer threw that pain again, no more. I want you to leave Sarah, I'd rather live alone and remember the good times then have to suffer everyday waiting for you to leave again, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Please leave Sarah it's what's best for the both of us, and hey look at it this way you were right, it will never work out between us, You've convinced me of that. Goodbye Sarah I hope you enjoy retirement, you know the way out." With that Chuck turned around and walked away leaving her there in the home theater room to wonder how it all went so wrong.

Sarah collapsed into a chair distraught; he blamed himself for her leaving? He had finally given up on her and it felt terrible, she had lost him for good. She sobbed into her hands at that sudden realization, it was over; a stupid note destroyed all of the hard work they had put in. Chuck was leaning on the home theater room door when he heard her start to cry. Even after all this he still hated to hear her cry, it made him so sad. He decided it was best to let her get it out of her system instead of just throwing her out onto the street. He walked away from the home theater room to his office.

It had been several minutes when chuck heard a faint knock on the door to his office.

"Chuck." It was faint and her voice sounded shaky at best.

"Chuck I know your in there please open the door." He tried to ignore her plea but he was having trouble.

"Please Chuck I beg of you, open the door and let me explain. I never meant to hurt you please." He was tempted to open the door but decided to stand strong.

"Okay Chuck I understand, that's it then. I guess this is goodbye, I'm sorry that it had to end like this." She began to cry again which really bothered him, her cries began to become more and more faint until they were gone. He panicked his will fading away with every step he took towards the door until he opened it… she was gone she had left. Panic shot threw his body after this sudden realization. He sprinted down the hall after her.

"Sarah wait don't go." She heard his bellows and stopped in her tracks turning around. Her breath caught in her mouth she was nervous wondering what he would say.

"Chuck?" she was still crying the tears smudging her makeup.

"Sarah you said you could explain all of this?" she quickly tried to wipe away her tears failing miserably as new ones fell.

"Yes I can explain." He handed her a hanker chief and wrapped his arm around her body and lead her to a bathroom to compose herself at her own request.

"So let me hear this explanation of yours I'm really curious to hear your side of the story." She smiled a sad smile up at him.

"Before I explain I should really compose myself, look at me I'm a blubbering mess." As they quietly walked down the hall Sarah saw a small ember of hope and was determined to seize that ember and turn it in to a fire of hope, love and redemption.

XXXXXXXXXX

After composing herself she looked in the mirror of the master bathroom ware all of her make up was. She couldn't recognize the person she saw in that mirror. What was once a young naive and utterly raw CIA agent was now a hollow shell, all that remained of that beautiful girl that once was Samantha Burton. She was scared she never anticipated telling Chuck about BLACKSPARROW so soon she wasn't ready, but he deserved to know. It was also probably the only way to solve this little spat they were currently in. she took a couple of slow deep breathes to calm her nerves before leaving the bathroom to join Chuck in the kitchen.

Chuck was sitting at the kitchen counter sitting on a stool when he saw her enter the kitchen and head towards him. He couldn't help but notice how different she was, it was obvious that the last nine years hadn't been kind to her she had lost that glow, that ora of beauty that she had. She was still incredibly beautiful but she lacked the glow of happiness, he hoped that if they could sort this out he could help restore that glow through good old tender love and care.

"Hey Chuck ready to have that talk?" he nodded yes and she sat down.

"Okay Chuck first I have a story to tell, the story of my nine years without you." He gave her a bittersweet smile and she continued

"The day I left you was the worst day of my life, I gave up my happiness because I thought I was going to lose you…" he cut her off with a question.

"Sarah what do you mean by thought you were going to lose me?" he had a puzzled look on his face.

"Oh right so um about a month before I left I had this nightmare a dreadful nightmare about our talk at the fountain ware you told me I would never be normal and that was why we could never work out. I was so scared because at the fountain I was relatively normal in comparison to nine years ago. I thought if you couldn't be with me at that time then what was stopping you from leaving me and finding a girl who wasn't damaged goods, which could love you totally and unconditionally. I thought I couldn't and it scared me because I loved you with all of my heart but I still thought you deserved more." She began to sniffle as the tears in her eyes fell; Chuck stuck out his arm and wiped away her tears.

"I decided instead of letting you hurt me I'd beat you to the punch and save myself some pain, Which sounds meaner then it was intended but back to the story. So I left and drove to about Albuquerque where I stopped. This is really hard." The tears were welling up.

"Hey, Hey don't cry Sarah no need to cry." She smiled at him and continued.

"So even though I left I still loved you and I couldn't bare to not see your face one more time." She took an unsteady breath to calm her nerves. It was really hard for her to tell him this.

"I turned on my computer and looked at the live security feed of the apartment and there you were, with one of my guns in your hand."

He gasped out loud, he remembered that moment, that was the lowest point of his entire life.

"I was so scared at that moment I prayed to god you wouldn't do it, then you brought the gun back down." He new what was coming next, he new the words as they left her mouth.

"Then you said, I'm sorry Sarah I wish it could have been different but that's not gonna happen any time soon so goodbye. I cried as you brought that gun back up to your head. I couldn't watch I closed my laptop but not before I heard a load slam or bang, it tore my heart out, it destroyed me." Chuck felt so sorry that she had to experience that.

"I thought you killed yourself, I blamed myself for all of it. It took months of therapy for me to get back to a functional state. I want you to know something Chuck in the nine years with the CIA I never ever even considered doing a seduction mission, I knew you didn't like it when I did them so out of respect for my _late _ex-husband I turned down every single one of them." Chuck was very touched by that last statement she had made, any doubt that she loved him was long gone she had proven to him that her feelings were real.

"About seven years later I was given a deep cover mission in Burma, They captured me for five months…" she couldn't continue any longer it was all to much for her to stay composed her breathing became more erratic and her hands became clammy.

"Hey Sarah look at me, if you don't want to tell me about it then that's okay I completely understand." Chuck reached out and placed a sympathetic hand on Sarah's shoulder. How could Chuck do that she wondered, how could he calm her by simply touching her shoulder, it was very simple, he was Chuck.

"The Mission was code named BLACKSPARROW."

At the mention of that name Chuck instantly flashed. Every gory detail flashed before him in a second the first thing to show up was her injury report, two broken fingers, one broken toe, multiple cuts and lacerations, signs of starvation, a small anal tare, a concussion and a bacterial infection. He was horrified every detail of the rapeing's, the beatings and this lunatic named The Masked Man. Sarah was about to continue her story when she saw him flash which both shocked and confused her.

"No need to continue Sarah I already know every detail." That's what she thought she saw, he did flash. Chuck leapt out of his chair and captured her in a frantic hug.  
"I'm so glad your safe Sarah oh my god all I see is the details, the pictures." After a couple seconds they awkwardly separated and sat down.

"After I got back from Burma I went into a downward spiral, of coarse I didn't tell anybody about my wish for death."

He gasped at that statement it truly shook him to the core.

"I wanted to die to finally have piece and to finally meat you up in heaven. About a year and a half later I attempted suicide. The CIA therapist diagnosed me with Major Depressives Disorder and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Last night I forgot to take my medication and the thunder triggered a PTSD flashback. I needed to get out of the house this morning in order to calm down I felt embarrassed after last night and in my hurry I left you a poorly worded note." All the anger at Sarah that he had left instantly faded away and turned into concern.

"I'm am so sorry about earlier Sarah I take everything I said back." Sarah ran into his arms and hugged him sadly, desperately. Years of pain were fading away from within Sarah and in their place a burning love started to fester.

"I promise you Chuck I will never hurt you again, for as long as I live you will never hurt again." They continued to hug for several minutes as they grieved over the past together.

"I love you Chuck."

"I love you too Sarah with all of my heart."

* * *

**_AN: WELL THAT'S CHAPTER 8 HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT_**

**_AN: WELL THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE A VERY INTERESTING ENGAGEMENT I PROMISE :D_**


	9. Chapter 9

_**AN: SO THIS CHAPTER IS ABOUT CHRISTMAS AT THE BARTOWSKI'S YES I KNOW IT IS AFTER CHRISTMAS BUT IT WAS THE ONLY WAY TO MAKE IT WORK.**_

_**AN: THIS CHAPTER IS SHORTER THAN MOST SO I APOLOGIZE**_

_**AN: PLEASE REVIEW CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM GREATLY APPRECIATED.**_

_**AN: I DON'T OWN CHUCK!**_

* * *

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 9: Wasted Time 

"_I promise you Chuck I will never hurt you again, for as long as I live you will never hurt again." They continued to hug for several minutes as they grieved over the past together._

"_I love you Chuck."_

"_I love you too Sarah with all of my heart."_

2:00 P.M.

Chuck's Private Estate

The rest of the morning was filled with passionate love making the likes of which neither had ever experienced. They lay in bed just talking and enjoying the afterglow. Chuck called it making up for wasted time; she just called it practice for their honeymoon.

"Honeymoon? What honeymoon? Sarah I love you but we're not even married anymore let alone newly weds." Chuck was confused why was she talking about a honeymoon they weren't married and quite frankly he didn't know if he really want to be married yet.

"Yes but, I don't know maybe I want to be." A timid almost desperate smile appeared on his as a lone tear rolled down his cheek.

"Sarah what are you saying?" he looked into her eyes searching for answers to the questions left unsaid, those deep pools of Sapphire looked so beautiful. Almost piercing blue, like they could see into your soul blue.

"I want to be your wife Chuck I want to marry you." She broke out into a smile that would light up a dark room. She wanted to marry him? His heart busted at the seems with joy it was as if he was a kid in a candy store.

"Oh my" Chuck leaned over in bed and kissed Sarah, not the frantic kiss like the one on the docks so many years ago, no this was a sweet kiss filed with love and hope for the future.

"So what do you say Chuck? Wanna get married?" she flashed him her mega watt smile that could brighten up anybody's day.

"Yes, yes I do." Chuck was elated; she wanted to get remarried! In what could only be described as acrobatics Chuck leapt on top of Sarah and started kissing her neck in that one spot that always got to her. Sarah gasped at the wonderful sensation; Chuck kissed Sarah with a renewed sense of purpose any remaining thoughts or worries about the past were gone replaced by an eternal love for her, his Sarah.

XXXXXXXXXX

2 Days Later

4:00 P.M.

December 25th

Chuck's Estate

Chuck and Sarah had slaved most of the day cooking the Christmas dinner to be enjoyed later that day. Things were moving along as planed cooking wise and everybody was expected to arrive shortly. Chuck hadn't told anybody about Sarah and him yet not even Ellie; of coarse everybody new that they bumped into each other a little over a month ago but they all thought that was it. Sarah was walking down the stairs into the main foyer when the doorbell rang.

"Honey can you get the door I'm kind of busy with the food at the moment." Chuck bellowed from the kitchen of coarse he would join her in greeting everybody once his hands weren't so covered in food. Sarah went to the door and looked at the security screen, seeing that it was Ellie, Awesome, their son Steven and their daughter Clara. Sarah opened the door with a big smile on her face.

"Hey everybody come on in!" Ellie was in total shock; she was never told that Sarah would be there.

"Sarah what a nice surprise! How are you?" Ellie gave Sarah a huge and a quick kiss on the cheek before walking inside the massive house holding Steven in her arms.

"I'm fine come in come in." Chuck walked up behind Sarah and gave her a kiss on the cheek before greeting the Awesomes.

"Hi Ellie good to see you." After giving Ellie a kiss and a hug he walked over to Awesome and shook his hand. Steven waved hi to Sarah as they walked into the living room.

"And who is this handsome devil?" Sarah asked waving to Steven.

"This Sarah is Steven. Say hi to Sarah, Steven." Steven waved at Sarah.

"Hi Sarah." Sarah waved at him before spotting Clara; she jogged over to Clara and bent down to speak to her.

"Hi Clara I don't know if you remember me or not but I'm your aunt Sarah." Clara looked at her in bewilderment.

"Hello Auntie Sarah it's been a long time since I've seen you." Sarah was very impressed with how mature Clara was.

"Sadly yes it's been a long time so tell me Clara how old are you now?"

"I'm eleven."

"Wow it has been a while, last time I saw you, you were a one year old."

"Auntie Sarah where is Uncle Chuck?" it broke Sarah's heart, she missed so much of everybody's life, the birth of Ellie's son Steve, Casey getting married, Morgan getting married and Her own sister's childhood. This was all a rude reminder of her mistakes.

"He is in the kitchen I bet if you go in there he'll give you a Christmas cookie." Clara gave her a big smile then ran into the kitchen to find Chuck. Sarah giggled at Clara's cuteness then joined everybody else in the holiday activities.

After about an hour almost all the guests had arrived, Morgan and Alex, Casey and Gertrude, Big mike and Bellonia Grimes. Seeing all of them so happy both touched her and reminded her of leaving. When she left Morgan was still just dating Alex. When she left Casey hadn't even returned yet. She was distracted from her sad thoughts by the sound of the doorbell, wondering whom it was she walked over to the door and opened it.

"Mom? Molly?" she gasped at the surprise they were here. She never thought they would show up after she left everybody behind, she even left them behind. Molly was growing up she must have been fifteen years old if Sarah's math was right.

"Hello Sarah merry Christmas" Emma gave Sarah a big hug and a kiss then walked in to join the party. Sarah was in shock when she first saw molly, she was growing up so fast and she had missed most of it.

"Hey Sarah." Molly just walked by Sarah leaving her saddened and bewildered. Sarah turned to her mother and spoke.

"Mom did I do something wrong? What's Molly's problem?" Emma walked over to Sarah and spoke.

"Oh it's nothing just a teenager being a teenager you know how that goes." Emma chuckled then rejoined the party.

After all the gift giving and such everybody sat down for Christmas Dinner. Sarah stood up to make a toast.

"So as you all can guess this is my first Christmas with the Bartowski Clan in a long time, I see all these familiar faces and it reminds me of all my mistakes, but I now know one mistake I won't make. I'm here to stay everybody; I have a ring to prove it. Cheers everybody, merry Christmas and a happy new year." Sarah held up her glass and took a small sip. Ellie took a sip of her wine when it dawned on her.

"What? Sarah when?" Ellie starred at Sarah waiting for an answer.

"Two days ago, we flew to Vegas and had it done." Sarah held up her hand showing off her ring, which had retaken its rightful place on her finger. Ellie squealed in joy causing everybody to laugh. Chuck leaned over to his left and kissed Sarah. They talked, everybody laughed and all had a good time.

XXXXXXXXXX

11:54 P.M.

Chuck and Sarah's Bedroom

Chuck and his loving wife laid in bed in each others embrace.  
"Today was fun." Said chuck as he stared at the sealing.

"Yes, yes it was. I think Ellie took the news very well." Chuck laughed quietly before kissing Sarah on the top of the head.

"Can you believe that Molly is fifteen years old?" Sarah talked with a tone that suggested bewilderment.

"Yeah she's growing up." Sarah shifted in bed so that she could look at him.

"Chuck does she know about Ryker and the rescue in Germany?" Chuck simply nodded yes.

"How I never even told my mom how could she know?" she realized what he hadn't said.

"You, you told her didn't you?" his smile faded as he shifted his position so that he was looking her in the eye.

"Yes I did. She was asking about you two or three years ago so I told her your whole story." Sarah looked at him in horror before speaking.

"Everything?"

"Yes then I still couldn't quiet explain why you left so I showed her the note. She still didn't under stand so I told her regardless of how you treated me that you love her." Sarah couldn't believe this he told her everything.

"She has a very strong personality kind of like you. She told me that even though you made a mistake in leaving she still loved you and nothing would ever change that. She is just trying to get to know you again so give it some time." With that he kissed her on the head one last time before lying back down to sleep after a long, long day. Sarah laid back down and snuggled up close to Chuck draping her arm over his chest, resting her head in the little nook next to his neck. They fell asleep peacefully in each other's arms.

* * *

_**AN: WELL HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT.**_

_**AN: IN THE NEXT CHAPTER IT'S CHUCK'S TURN TO TELL HIS STORY.**_

_**AN: EVENTS IN THE STORY ARE GOING TO START TO MOVE AT A QUICKER PACE SO PREPARE YOURSELF :D**_


	10. Chapter 10

**_AN... SORRY THAT IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO PUT THIS CHAPTER ONLINE I HAVE MID TERMS NEXT WEEK SO I'VE BEEN STUDYING IN STEAD OF TYPING_**

**_AN... SO THIS CHAPTER IS NOT MY BEST WORK BUT DOES EXACTLY WHAT IT NEEDS TO._**

**_AN... I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS CHAPTER _**

**_AN... PLEASE REVIEW CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM_**

**_AN... SO REMEMBER I ONLY PROMISED 3 FLUFF CHAPTERS_**

**_I DON'T OWN CHUCK_**

* * *

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 10: Think on Your Sins

December 25th 2022

The House With The Red Door

11:54 P.M.

Two years, two years was the amount of time that house was on the market. Most would say that the previous owners wanted too much but to Chuck he really didn't care. Now it was just his guesthouse for when Ellie came into town. Ellie lay in bed next to her husband Devon in deep thought as Devon spoke.

"What are you thinking about babe?" Ellie snapped out of thought and spoke.

"Just about Chuck and Sarah." Devon smiled at her worrying about Chuck.

"What about Chuck and Sarah?" Ellie looked at him like why are you asking.

"I don't trust her, at all. I just don't believe that she really loves him the way Chuck thinks she does." Devon never anticipated such doubt from Ellie.

"Oh… why don't you go talk to her one of these days while were still in town you know." Devon was right instead of doubting her why not just go talk to her about it.

"You know what that's a great idea maybe tomorrow I'll go over there and have a little chat with Sarah."

December 26th 2022

1:58 P.M.

Ellie had thought all morning about what she would say and finally found the right words as she walked up to the massive double doors that encompassed the front doors. Sarah was having a rather quite morning with chuck having to run up to work and nothing to do Sarah decided to sit in the home theater room and watch a movie. Sarah was half way through Wayne's World when she heard the doorbell ring throughout the large house. Sarah got up and jogged to the front door and looked at the security screen, the monitor showed that it was Ellie so Sarah opened the door.

"Ellie what a nice surprise come in, come in." Sarah had a bright smile on her face as she hugged Ellie.

"Is uh, is Chuck home?" Ellie had a conspiratorial look on her face, which bothered Sarah slightly.

"No he had to go to work to tie up some loose ends as he put it." Sarah giggled at how cute her husband could be.

"Good cause I wanted to talk to you alone without my boneheaded brother interfering." Ellie's demeanor had changed from one of happiness to one of anger and hatred.

"Ellie I don't understand." Sarah was going to say more but Ellie cut her off.

"Now you listen and you listen good you lying bitch I don't know what kind of angle your working on Chuck but I don't buy it. You left for nine years, nine years! You had all that time to come back into his life and you choose now? Now that he's rich beyond belief and lives in the giant house it's okay to come back. No I don't believe it, it makes morbid sense that you would pick now! Yes I get that you lost all your memories but really you lived with him for an entire year then just up and left. If I hadn't walk into his apartment at the exact moment that I did he would have blown his brains out! So I only have one question Sarah, why are you here?" Sarah was stunned by Ellie outburst.

"Ellie first off I'm not working an angle I'm here because I want to be. Second I'm hurt that you would ever even think I was using him and third I used the intersect removal glasses and they worked I remember everything all the pain, all the heartbreak, everything." Ellie's demeanor changed drastically once again.

"Sarah I am so sorry about everything I said I didn't know about the glasses, wow I feel terrible I come bouncing in here all mad and yell at you in your own house." Sarah couldn't blame her at all for her little tie raid; she was just looking out for her little brother.

"So you remember everything?" Ellie asked still not totally convinced.

"Yes everything, you can quiz me if you want."

"No that's okay I believe you, it's great to have you back Sarah." Ellie gave her a big hug before speaking again.

"So Sarah doing anything later?" Sarah nodded yes.

"I'm having a ladies night with Carina she is in town and wanted to get together to catch up, you are welcome to join us if you want."

"No that's okay I wouldn't want to impose."

"Believe me it's okay I think it would be great if you came. Anyways you have a lot to fill me in on." Ellie smiled.

"Okay what time should I be here?" Sarah paused to think.

"7:30 should be fine." Ellie nodded and walked back over to the front door.

"Okay see you later Sarah." With that Ellie walked out of the front door and left.

"Jesus Christ that was so weird." Sarah shrugged her shoulders in exasperation before walking back into the living room.

XXXXXXXXXX

3:50 P.M.

BTC Chuck's Software Company

Chuck had been in meeting's all day and it sucked. All he wanted to do was hold Sarah in his arms and just be with her. With the stock market the way he was he had some important business to attend to. Sarah had a surprise for Chuck, as she walked up to his office at BTC sizzling shrimp in hand she could help but feel proud of him he was rich and successful. Sarah was quickly approaching his office when she heard some yelling coming from the other room.

"No Beckman I will not come in for an update no!" Sarah gasped at what she heard Chuck was talking to Beckman.

"General with all do respect you have sunk your claws into enough of my life so FUCK OFF!" Sarah heard him slam the phone down before walking towards the door. She quickly backed away from the door and put on a big smile. Chuck threw open the door and quickly noticed her standing there, he quickly put on a smile, considering he was not in a good mood this was a testament to how much he loved her.

"Sarah what are you doing here?" Chuck looked kind of surprised to Sarah see him at his office.

"Just wanted to see my man at work." She giggled before holding out the bag from bamboo dragon.

"Sarah is that sizzling shrimp." His mood instantly brightened at the thought that his wife brought him lunch and came to see him.

"Of coarse, I know what my man likes to eat." He walked over and kissed her before putting an arm around her and led her to his office.

As they sat down inside his office Chuck opened up the bag and pulled out the food.

"So Chuck you want to tell me when you got an intersect update or should I ask Beckman." Chuck looked at her shocked unable to speak.

"It just dawned on me Chuck, how on earth would you know about the masked man if you didn't flash on him, and furthermore how could you flash on him if your intersect is over 9 years old? That means that during our time apart you took an intersect update. When were you going to tell me Chuck or should I ask were you even going to tell me at all?" Sarah had her hands on her hips and was giving him a really dirty look.

"Okay Sarah your right on all accounts I do have Intersect 4.0 in my head but only because the CIA and NSA needed my help." Sarah gave him a really skeptical look like '_sure like I believe that'. _

"Really Sarah I'm telling the truth about ½ years ago they came to me asking for my help. Of course I said no at first but they told me it was about you so I immediately agreed." Sarah gasped; they brought him in to investigate.

"So they wanted me to look into this former ring agent named Ivan Jameson, when Shaw turned himself into the ring and we blew up the facility Jameson suffered severe injuries to his face. The pain drove him insane and he broke out of the facility they had him in. 9 years ago they captured him and were in the process of transferring him when the transport was attacked, on board was Mr. Colt, Hugo Panzer, Lazlo Minofski and Jameson. During the attack Hugo and Colt both died and Lazlo was severely injured. Somebody took him away and the government lost track of him. He started to wear a mask to hide his face, that's where his nickname the masked man came from." Sarah just nodded as he continued.

"So they said they needed me to bring him in because they needed an intersect and although I thought they didn't know they did know that I had Intersect 3.0."

Sarah Gasped at that, they had been so careful after Quinn to hide Chuck's secret but apparently it wasn't enough.

"So what you're saying Chuck is that they twisted your arm into downloading the _'new'_ Intersect so that you could bring him in?" Chuck nodded yes.

"So what were you supposed to get out of this deal? Because to me this doesn't really favor you." Chuck looked down at his plate full of sizzling shrimp and sighed.

"They said they would let me see you…" Sarah gasped once again.

"Oh my god." Sarah was shocked her eyes open wide her mouth slightly agape.

"I was so desperate to see you that I did anything they asked me to hoping that I could bring you home." Chuck got slightly choked up at the emotions of the subject.

"I went and got him with the help of agent Barker and a tact team, then came one of the worst days of my life."

_Chuck knocked on general Beckman's door her office was a bee hive of activity._

"_Um general can we talk for a minute?" Chuck was slightly nervous about what he was about to ask._

"_What is it Bartowski?" Beckman was busy looking at some files not even acknowledging his existence. _

"_So you promised me a meeting with Sarah, I was wondering when that was going to go down?" Beckman looked up at him and removed her reading glasses, giving him the 'are you serious kind of look'._

"_I'm going to be straight with you on this one Bartowski, It's not going to happen. You can't see her." That last statement took Chuck aback._

"_What?" the serious disappointment was apparent in Chuck's voice. Beckman spoke in a flat emotionless._

"_You didn't really think that is how this works did you? Oh come on Chuck you've worked with us before you know the drill." Beckman stifled a laugh as she saw the look on his face._

"_General I can't believe you would do this to me after all that I did for you, nearly five years of my life was dedicated to the 'greater good' you've made a mistake this time mam." She looked at him before speaking._

"_Bartowski we never actually planned on letting you see her, that was just a ploy to get you to work with us. We knew that you would do anything to see Sarah so we used her to get to you." Beckman had never seen such rage in Chuck before. It seemed like every muscle in his body was tensing his fists were clinched and his teeth were gritted. He walked slowly up to her desk before bending down and getting really close and speaking._

"_You know general if you make to many enemies there wont be anybody left to protect you from the storm is enemies that you will have created and I can guarantee you that I won't come to protect you because I don't protect lowlife scum." Chuck turned around and walked to the door were he through it open, the secretary on the other side was surprised by this and flinched at him. Beckman slowly sat back in her chair and breathed a sigh of relief._

"_I believe that I may have made a mistake."_

Sarah sat back I her chair as she listened to him finish up his story. She wasn't surprised at all by Beckman's actions. Beckman had changed over the years; she had gotten more and more reckless as time had gone on, more heartless. Ever since Roan died from that heart attack she hadn't been the same. She was bitter because of it and often made cold calculated decisions, still the NSA was going to replace her in the summer.

"I was so obsessed with seeing you that I let my guard down and fell for her tricks. Ever since Emily dumped me 7 years ago I became fixated on getting you back and fixing what ever mistake I thought that I made." Sarah almost cried after hearing him talk about _'his mistake' _that was her mistake and to hear him talk like that broke he heart, of coarse they had already sorted this out and well no hard feelings.

"Who, who is Emily?" it was a simple question but still very hard to answer.

"Emily was my attempt to move on from you…" Sarah thought that's who she was, she was curious as to why he said attempt, of coarse she new that they weren't still together.

"We had been dating for about a month and she decided it was time that we should um have sex… When I finished I uh I called out your name…" Sarah gasped.

"No" she couldn't believe it she felt terrible for him.

"Yeah it's true, she left that night and I never heard from her again. After that I realized that nobody would ever be able to replace you so I just gave up dating and focused on finding you and getting your memories back." Sarah leapt out of her chair and kissed him on the lips in a desperate try to convey how much she loved him, Chuck quickly reciprocated the kiss and before you know it they were both caught up in a heated make-out session their hands exploring one another.

XXXXXXXXXX

2 hours later

Chuck and Sarah's estate

Chuck walked out into the foyer of his massive house and yelled up the stairs to his wife who was in his office doing something on his Computer.

"Hey honey were out of Chicken, I'm going to the store to pick some up do you need anything?" Sarah stopped typing on the computer and thought about it for a few second.

"Could you pick up some more fish food for Shark?" Shark was her second golden fish, the first one died Chuck insisted that they get a new one so they got Shark.

Chuck grabbed his keys and headed for the Lamborghini to go to the store. He started his car and off he went.

Sarah was just finishing typing out the paper work for her stuff to be shipped here from DC, it had been nearly an hour since Chuck had left which meant that Carina and Ellie should be arriving soon. Sarah got up and walked downstairs to make sure the house was clean. Sarah happened to walk through the living room on her way to the kitchen.

"Hey Carina… Carina? What are you doing here? How did you get in?" Sarah was so shocked to see Carina at this moment in time; yes she expected to see her in a little over half an hour but not now.

"Hey girl how you doing!" Carina stood up from the couch and hugged Sarah.

"So good to see you Carina, just so you know Chuck's sister Ellie is going to be joining us tonight." Sarah motioned for Carina to sit down before sitting I a chair.

XXXXXXXXXX

5-Miles Away

Ellie's Car

Same time

Ellie was in rather good mood as she drove over to Chuck and Sarah's place, Sarah was here to stay and Ellie could not be happier. Finally something good happened to Chuck and Sarah, it always seemed there was something keeping them apart. Quinn, Shaw, Bryce, Cole even the God damn Intersect drove a wedge between them at some point. Ellie was determined not to hold a grudge against Sarah because quiet frankly Sarah was the best and worst thing to happen to Chuck in a long, long time.

XXXXXXXXXX

Casa Bartowski

2 Minutes Later

Everything was going according to plan Chuck was gone nobody suspected a thing. He had been monitoring Walker and the Bartowski's for many years' waiting for his chance to strike, to exact his revenge on them, all he had to do now was wait for the right moment. He and his men were waiting inside the garage to strike.

XXXXXXXXXX

Casa Bartowski

Same time

Sarah was so glad that she could meet up with Carina; it had been far to long since she had just hung out with Carina. Ever since she had attempted suicide Sarah had tried to avoid her and pretty much everybody else having become extremely depressed of coarse she always lied her way through the psychological evaluations in order to become field active.

"It really is great to see you Carina we should have done this sooner…" she was cut off by the sound of a door being kicked in and a large amount of men charging into the room. Carina stood up to pull a gun but was stopped by the sound of a gunshot. Sarah looked over at Carina in time to see her fall to the floor in a heap.

"Carina!" she ran over to Carinas dead body and shook it trying desperately to bring back her best friend. Sarah looked over her shoulder at the group of well-armed men, through all the commotion she saw him.

"No, no not again no!" Sara sank to the floor and started frantically crawling away fear overtaking her as he slowly approached her. The Masked Man looked down at her his metal face staring through her.

"Hello Agent Walker, BLACKSPARROW is calling." His raspy robotic voice bellowed. A lone tear crept down Sarah's face as he slowly walked closer to her.

"Men, finish the job you know what to do." Two men ran up and captured Sarah as the rest brought in containers of gasoline.

XXXXXXXXXX

Ellie's Car

2 minutes later

Ellie was quickly approaching Casa Bartowski when she saw a tower of smoke slowly crawl into the sky. She followed the smoke with her eyes until she found its source.

"Oh my god!" Chuck was the only thing that was on her mind as she starred at the blazing inferno that was once his house. Ellie pulled out her phone and quickly dialed Chuck's phone. It rang and rang and rang until…

"Hey Ellie what's up?" Ellie let go of the breath she didn't know she was holding.

"Chuck! Oh my god you need to get home now! It's an emergency! Your house is on fire get home now hurry!" Ellie sounded frantic and scared on the other side of the phone throwing Chuck in to a frenzied panic.

"Ellie calm down, I'm on my way."

XXXXXXXXXX

Casa Bartowski

Chuck had just arrived and was in total shock the fire fighters had to restrain him to keep him from running into the house to check for her.

"Sir she isn't in there and if she was there isn't anything left to go get so please stay back!" Chuck backed away before bending over, his hands on his he started to dry heave. After a few minutes he stood back up and looked in shock at the blazing inferno that was once his house. His phone vibrated signaling that he got a text, he pulled out his phone and looked at the screen. The number was encrypted but he opened the text anyways.

_Think on your sins_

* * *

_**AN... ONLY 1 MORE CHAPTER BEFORE THE EPIC CONCLUSION SO PREPARE YOURSELF**_

_**AN... SO THIS STORY IS GOING TO GET REALLY DARK FOR THE REST OF THE STORY**_

_**AN... SO THE FINAL FEW CHAPTERS ARE GONNA BE TITLED 'THE LOSE OF INNOCENCE' AND 'THE HEART OF DARKNESS' SO BE WARNED :D**_

_**AN... UNTIL NEXT TIME **  
_


	11. Chapter 11

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 11: The Ultimate Sacrifice

_Think on your sins_

10:59 P.M.

Casa Bartowski

The firemen had finished putting out the fire and were now going threw the charred remains that were his house. Thoughts of Sarah were buzzing around in his head as his worry got the best of him. He was currently looking through the burnt remains of the living room when he noticed something shiny under a pile of burnt drywall. He bent down and with his gloved hands he picked it up out of the ruble and looked at it, it was a briefcase. Casey came up behind him and placed his hand on his shoulder before speaking.

"Chuck it just doesn't add up we haven't found Sarah yet even though her car is still in the garage, there is no body and it smells like gasoline in here." Chuck just continued to look at the mysterious briefcase; Chuck slowly walked outside into the front yard and sat down in the grass. Chuck looked at the briefcase inquisitively as he opened it slowly. Inside was only one thing; inside the briefcase was a small laptop.

"Strange." Chuck carefully picked up the small laptop and looked at it. Casey walked up behind Chuck looked at the laptop and sighed.

"Chuck they just found a body in the living room, there going to take it to the forensics lab to try and identify it." Chuck looked over his shoulder quickly a look of anguish on his face that would be burned into Casey's memory forever.

"Don't worry kid I don't think its Sarah so just stay positive." Chuck put the laptop back into the briefcase stood up and patted Casey on the arm before walking to his car and driving away. Chuck would drive to his guesthouse and crash there considering his house was gone. He was tired but he new that no sleep would come tonight.

XXXXXXXXXX

2:30P.M.

Bartowski Technologies and Cyber Security

6 Days Later

It had been 6 days since the fire and still no word on Sarah's waribouts the forensics had comeback and it was now known that the body they found was a girl named Beth Parker or as Chuck new her Carina Miller, the news that Carina was dead really bothered Chuck, of coarse it saddened him but it did make him worry about Sarah, he couldn't shake the feeling that something was up it just didn't add up. He was currently sitting in his office at work looking at the laptop that he had found, it was an interesting computer in the way that it didn't turn on, there was no power button, no way to turn it on as if it was supposed to be activated by somebody else.

"Hey Chuck how you doing?" Morgan knocked on the open door as he walked into Chuck's office.

"Okay I guess. I'm worried sick about Sarah but other then that I'm fine." Morgan just sighed as he sat down in the chair on the other side of Chuck's desk.

"So buddy want to head out on our lunch break and get a bite to eat?" Morgan was trying desperately to get Chuck's mind off of Sarah and the rest of this fiasco.

"Sure where do you think we should go?" Chuck's voice was low and sad, his mind filled with thought of his beautiful wife.

"How about that pizza place down the street?" Chuck nodded yes and they walked out to go to lunch.

XXXXXXXXXX

1:23 A.M.

The House With The Red Door

Chuck was sound asleep, actual sleep coming for the first time in many days. The laptop was lying on the coffee next to the couch where he was currently sleeping. Since the house was a two bedroom one was for Ellie and Awesome the other was currently occupied by the Children, so that left the couch for Chuck to sleep on, of coarse Ellie offered to move the children out of that room so he could take it but he didn't mind the couch. Chuck was awoken from his sleep by the light emanating from the laptop, which had suddenly come on.

"What the…" said an incredibly groggy Chuck as he sat up. The screen flashed on and three green dots appeared on the screen, the words 'press enter' appeared on the screen.

"Interesting." Chuck pressed enter and the screen came to life as if the laptop had finally come on line.

"I'm gonna have to take you too my lab tomorrow."

8:00 A.M.

On Chuck's right was a very tired Casey and on his left was Morgan nursing a grape soda on the rocks.

"Look Chuck a message, in the messages folder." Morgan pointed to the folder on the screen as Chuck clicked on the folder opening it up. It was a video that had just been sent to them.

"Shall we see what's in that video?" Chuck opened the video and played it and a black emblem of a bird showed up causing the flash instantly.

**A flower **

**A tall man in a trench with his back turned**

**Sarah being cradled in the arms of Casey as he carried her from the building**

**Burma**

**BLACKSPARROW**

**Mutilated bodies lying on the floor in a dark hallway**

**Human trafficking **

**Illegal organ trade**

**BLACKSPARROW**

**The Masked Man**

**BLACKSPARROW**

**Ivan Jameson The Masked Man**

**BLACKSPARROW**

When the flash ended Chuck flew backwards away from the desk his heart pounding in his ears, his breathing quick and erratic.

"Oh my god… BLACKSPARROW that is The Masked Mans logo." Panic rose into his mind as thoughts of worry toward his missing wife crept into his mind. Morgan and Casey gasped at Chuck's words.

"Oh my god he took her…" Chuck's hand flew to his mouth in shock as he thought the worst.

"Hey! Don't say that Chuck, don't think those thoughts, we need you calm, cool and collected." Casey boomed as he grabbed a hold of Chucks shoulders shaking Chuck out of his frightened trance. Chuck walked over to watch the video, which Morgan had paused when he saw Chuck flash. The logo faded and 11 guys appeared, 10 warring president masks and the masked man in the middle. Chuck gritted his teeth in anger as he watched.

"Hello Chuck you know who I am so I'm just going to get to the point." The Masked Man stepped to his left reveling a very scared and very naked Sarah sitting on the ground one knee drawn up to her chest, the other tucked underneath her, tears running down her face as she stared at the Camera… at Chuck.

"I have Agent Walker Chuck, but I'm willing to trade… I'll trade her, for you… You give yourself up and I hand her over to your friends. If not… well let's just say my men would really like it if you didn't give yourself up." He laughed manically as he grabbed her hair and pulled on her until she was standing upright, she shrieked in pain as he pulled on her hair.

"All you have to do Chuck is show up at the old warehouse in Mong Pan and we'll make the exchange." Tears were welling up in Chuck's eyes as he watched the anguish on Sarah's face; the tears began to role as he saw the fear within her eyes. Sarah's eyes sending a silent message to come save her. A desperate cry for help.

"Think on your sins Chuck, and remember, Sarah is waiting." With one last maniacal laugh the screen went back to the home screen.

"Oh god." Said Casey and Morgan in Unisom as Chuck stared blankly at the screen the shock of what he just saw rendering him mute. Casey and Morgan noticed Chuck's stare and walked over to him, Casey put his hand on Chuck's shoulder and spoke.

"Don't worry Chuck we'll get her back we'll figure something out don't you worry." Chuck turned to them a look of fury on his face.

"Family meeting at my house in 2 hours." With that Chuck stormed out of his lab at BTC and left. Casey and Morgan shared a look of hesitation and fear as they watched him leave.

XXXXXXXXXX

2 Hours Later

The House With The Red Door

Everyone was at Chuck's Guesthouse as Chuck had called all of them for the family meeting. Mary, Emma, Ellie, Devon, Morgan, Alex, Casey, Gertrude, Molly, Clara and Steven were all in the house a major feet considering the massive amount of people that was. Some sat on the floor some on the furniture the rest just stood. Chuck paced the floor his fists clenched against his face, his mind deep in thought; the people around him were starting to get nervous as they watch him.

"Clara take Steven upstairs into your mommy and daddy's room." Clara stood up and looked at Chuck.

"Why uncle Chuck?" Chuck looked down at her with the nicest look on her face, he crouched down to look at her.

"Clara the grown ups need to talk so take your brother and go upstairs please." Clara nodded before grabbing Steven's hand and walking slowly up the stairs. Everybody went from looking at the two kids to looking at Chuck.

"Everybody…" Chuck took a steadying breath as he continued. "Sarah has been taken." Everybody gasped at his news.

"What are you talking about Chuck?" said Ellie. Chuck just pointed to the TV screen, which was connected to the laptop via cable.

"Chuck no, they won't be able to handle the video." Casey stood up in protest.

"Casey they need to know it's the only way." Chuck retorted unflinching as Casey crept closer.

"Chuck I'm telling you that's a mistake you should find another way." Casey was mere feet from Chuck, staring down Chuck.

"No god damn it I'm doing this my way Casey! They need to see it… and that is final. I'm making the most important decision of my entire life and they need to be included. To leave them out of it or to find another way would be to betray there trust and let down Sarah and those are two things I won't do so they have to see it, it's that simple…" Casey stood back and nodded as he went back to the couch and sat.

"_**Hello Chuck you know who I am so I'm just going to get to the point." The Masked Man stepped to his left reveling a very scared and very naked Sarah sitting on the ground one knee drawn up to her chest, the other tucked underneath her, tears running down her face as she stairs at the Camera… at Chuck.**_

"_**I have Agent Walker Chuck but I'm willing to trade… I'll trade her for you, you give yourself up and I hand her over to your friends. If not… well let's just say my men would really like it if you didn't give yourself up." He laughed manically as he grabbed her hair and pulled on her until she was standing upright, she shrieked in pain as he pulled on her hair.**_

"_**All you have to do Chuck is show up at the old warehouse and we'll make the exchange." Tears were welling up in Chuck's eyes as he watched the anguish on Sarah's face; the tears began to role as he saw the fear within her eyes. Sarah's eyes sending a silent message to come save her. A desperate cry for help. **_

"_**Think on your sins Chuck, and remember, Sarah is waiting."**_

There wasn't a dry eye in the room; everyone was simply shock, horrified. Emma was wiping her eyes as everybody looked at Chuck.

"Chuck who the hell is that bastard!" Chuck stood up and turned to face the crowd of people.

"Everybody that is the Ukrainian mercenary Ivan Jameson nicknamed the masked man. See three years ago my then teammate Agent Daniel Shaw gave himself up to the ring and was captured. On the rescue mission General Beckman called an airstrike on the Ring base to destroy it once and for all. We got him out just as the bombs destroyed the base and horrifically scaring Ivan's face. The injuries caused him to go insane and ever since he as had a vendetta against me and Sarah." Nobody new what to say it was all so unbelievable and so horrifying.

"What are you going to do Chuck? Are you going to go rescue her?" Asked a worried Emma who was the first to break to silence. Chuck simply nodded as Morgan stood up next.

"So how are we going to rescue her, Tact team, covert op?" Chuck shook his head no and spoke.

"No, what's going to happen is Casey and I are going to fly to Burma and meet him. Then Casey will fly home with Sarah." Chuck said that so matter of fact that nobody noticed what was missing from that sentence.

"Wait, what about you Chuck?" said Ellie as she stared into his eyes afraid.

"What about me?" Chuck was seriously trying to avoid the inevitable confrontation about his plan, he really didn't wan that to happen right here right now.

"You said you and Casey fly there." Chuck nodded. "Then Casey and Sarah fly home. Why aren't you flying home Chuck?" Ellie bellowed as the anger of the realization started to sink in.

"I'm not coming back. Isn't it obvious, I'm going to trade myself for Sarah. I'd rather die knowing that she is okay, that I did anything I could to get her home safe because it would destroy me inside to know that I could have done something and I left her there in that hell hole." Ellie had tears in her eyes just waiting to fall.

"Chuck come on there has to be another way, you could go get her you were a spy once why don't you just do that." Ellie was right up in Chuck's face desperately trying to convince him otherwise.

"What about Beckman couldn't she help you were part of her A team you know? Why don't you ask her for help?" Chuck was getting frustrated, Ellie refused to understand his point of view which didn't surprise him at all.

"Beckman pretty much hates me right now after I refused to get the new Intersect update. I doubt that she would help at all, I can picture it now she'd say that it was a terrible tragedy. Then she'd say they would have a small memorial service add another star to the wall of fallen agents and that it was best to just move on and forget about her." Ellie was speechless.

"Chuck I will not stand by and allow my brother to die okay. Believe me I love Sarah but it is not worth trading your life!"

Ellie stomped her foot to emphasize her point.

"That is enough Ellie I'm going to do this and that is it! I mean come on Casey is no spring chicken, he's nearly 58 years old. I'm nearly forty and I know that I wouldn't be able to just go over there and get her. If Casey and I go over there and just kick down the door neither of us will come back! Then all three of us would perish in that hellhole. How would you feel then? Huh? Well, how would you feel if you're only brother went over there and was gunned down while his friend met a very similar fate. Then you're brothers wife was viscously raped for months on end until they finally mercifully shot her between the eyes. Is that what you want? Because if it is then I'll gladly go do that for you, hell I'd do it right now just for you. There is no other way to save her Ellie and yes I know that means that I'm going to die, but it would be worth it in the end to die knowing that she is safe cause that is all that matters to me. I'm going to trade with him so please just let it be." Ellie had tears running down her face as she collapsed into an unconscious heap on the floor.

"That's just the way it is." Chuck said as he walked away into the small office near the back of the house.

XXXXXXXXXX

Chuck was typing on the laptop currently sending the masked man the message confirming that Chuck would trade for Sarah. There was a big ruckus outside in the family room after Chuck broke the news to the rest of them. There was a knock on the door and Casey walked in.

"Chuck we need to talk." Casey walked further into the room then closed the door.

"You don't think my plan is at all a good idea Casey." Chuck looked up from the laptop.  
"It is a stupid idea Chuck, you really plan on sacrificing yourself in the hopes that it will save her?" Casey said in a low intimidating tow that would scare any man.

"Yes I do Casey it's the only way to save her, this is a no win situation, someone's going to die this time there is no way around it. this is my Kobayashi Muru, my no win situation." Casey shook his head and breathed a sigh of exasperation.

"So you're just going to give in to his demands and hope for the best?" Chuck nodded yes and spoke.

"Casey I made a promise to myself that if I ever got Sarah back I would do anything in my power to make sure that I didn't lose her again. If I don't save her I'll lose her forever and I can't let that happen. I know that if I trade them I'm going to die but that doesn't matter I'd gladly die for her any day of the week. As long as she gets to live a long happy life then I'm okay with paying the ultimate price."

XXXXXXXXXX

4:29 A.M.

The Airport

3 Days Later

Today was the day, Chuck and the rest of the Family were at the airport to see Chuck and Casey off. Ellie was a blubbering mess, this would be the last time that she would ever see Chuck alive and it was tearing her up inside, Ellie hugged Chuck one last time before stepping back into the comforting arms of Devon.

"I have to say thank you to all of you before I go. Without you I wouldn't be the man I am today so thank you. I really wish that it didn't have to end this way but I just don't see any other way. I'll miss all of you so much and I only have one final request… don't hold a grudge toward Sarah considering the events that are about to transpire, she doesn't deserve that and I wouldn't approve of it." Chuck picked up his small bag off the ground and started towards the private plane. Ellie sobbed into Devon's shoulder mourning the lose of her brother. As Ellie watched the plane fly away all she could think about was how wrong things had gone.

Chuck and Casey sat inside the private jet in total silence a dark mood falling over them as they both contemplated the task ahead of them. Finally the silence became too much for them and Casey spoke.

"I'm just going to say this once, You and Sarah deserved better then this. For two people as good as the two of you it truly saddens my to have to see it end this way, right after things had just gone back to normal. For as long as I live I will cherish the time that I new you Charles Irving Bartowski… and I promise that I'll make sure Sarah ends up okay because there is no person on this earth besides my daughter and my wife that I love more than you and Sarah." In all the years that Chuck new Colonel John Casey he had never seen him cry until today, tears threatened to fall as Chuck looked upon his long time partner. Chuck looked out the window at the night sky as it faded away preparing to start a new day. Chuck looked at the glow of the early morning shy, a bittersweet smile creeping onto his face as he looked at his beloved city for the last time.


	12. Chapter 12

**_AN: SO THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY DARK AND YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP IN MIND THAT THIS STORY IS THE STORY OF A MAN PUSHED TO THE BRINK, AND HIS STORY OF THE EVENTS OF WHAT HAPPENS AFTERWARD._**

**_AN: I KNOW THAT ITS DARK AND I KNOW THAT ITS A LITTLE FAR FETCHED BUT JUST BARE WITH ME ON THIS ONE._**

**_AN: I DON'T OWN CHUCK BUT I WISH I DID_**

* * *

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 12: The Lose of Innocence

7:00 A.M.

The Old Warehouse, Outskirts of Mong Pan Burma

2 Days Later

It was a rainy day, how fitting for the occasion. Chuck and Casey had arrived at The Old Warehouse the site of the original BLACKSPARROW where Sarah had been taken the first time. This place was pure evil, it made Chuck uncomfortable as he and Casey slowly made there way through the maze of hallways and rooms. Chuck turned the corner and walked into a massive room. Off in the distance stood The Masked Man and his ten henchmen, Sarah was the first one to see Chuck and Casey.

"Chuck!" Sarah yelled desperately towards Chuck. Chuck and Casey were now standing mere yards from The Masked Man and his men when Chuck spoke.

"We had a deal, hand her over." The Masked Man let go of Sarah's Arm thus releasing her, Sarah ran into Chuck'./≥/s arms wrapping him in a tender embrace. Chuck kissed Sarah tenderly trying to convey all of his love for her, tears ran down his cheeks as he broke the kiss. He touched his forehead to hers as he whispered.

"I love you Sarah so, so much. I'm sorry." With that he pulled away from Sarah and walked over to The Masked Man.

"I'm ready to go." Chuck looked down at the floor as The Masked Mans goons grabbed him and lead him away.

"Chuck! No! Chuck!" Sarah screamed out after him, Sarah tried with all her might to shake free.

"I'm so sorry Sarah please forgive me." Yelled Chuck as Sarah broke free from Casey's grasp and ran after Chuck. Just then Chuck felt the prick of a tranq dart in his neck.

"Do it." Said The Masked Man as he pointed his head at Sarah. The crack of a gunshot shook Chuck out of his daze as he saw the growing blood spot on Sarah's chest.

"No! you bastard!" yelled Chuck as Casey ran towards Sarah's limp body. Another gunshot and Casey fell to the floor a bullet having passed through his chest. Everything started to go fuzzy as the feeling of a massive weight descended onto Chuck's chest. his breathing becoming more and more labored, Chuck fought the impending darkness with all his might but to no avail as he passed out finally giving in to his fate, finally giving in to the toxin currently coursing through his veins. The thud of the plane touching down shook Chuck from his nightmare.

7:00 A.M.

Outskirts of Mong Pan Burma

Chuck looked around frantically trying to get a barring on where he was. Chucks breathing was coming in short erratic breaths, the adrenaline still pumping through his veins.

"Where am I?" said Chuck with a raspy voice. Casey walked in from the rear of the plane.  
"Oh hey your up, we just landed in Burma so get your stuff ready."

XXXXXXXXXX

7:00 P.M.

The Hotel, Mong Pan, Burma

Chuck took in an unsteady breath as he tried to calm his nerves. It was a surreal feeling really, knowing your going to die today. He was scared, not because he was going to die. He was at peace with that, he was okay knowing that Sarah will get to live a long happy life even though he wont be in. No he was scared for Sarah and the rest of his family that he loved so dearly, if this deal went down then there would be nobody to stop The Masked Man if he went after Chuck's family. Thinking back a couple of days to that day when he thought that Sarah left he could help remember the analogy that he made. He had finally met his Bain the one that would take him to the brink. But unlike Bruce Wayne he wasn't going to survive this one. He wasn't going to win this time, he was going to die a slow painful death. The time to make the exchange was quickly approaching and Chuck was writing his last words to Sarah. Casey walked into the room dressed in full tactical equipment carrying a G36 Assault Rifle.

"Okay Chuck it's uh… it's show time, time to go get her." Casey gave a sad look at Chuck. Chuck was a sight for sore eyes to say the least. He hadn't slept in days, whiskers starting to form having not shaven. Dark spots had formed under his eyes from lack of sleep. Chuck put down the pen having finished writing the letter, folded the note and placed it in his coat pocket. Chuck took an unsteady breath as he got up out of the chair.

"Okay I'm ready lets go."

As the black van sped down the highway, the rain drops splattering on the windshield Chuck couldn't help but think to all the things that he had done. He took down FULCRUM, The Ring, Volkoff Industries, Shaw. He had saved America more times then he could count but it all felt hollow. Look at all of the things he hadn't done, no kids, no stable marriage, be able to provide for his family without having to worry, he had failed everybody. He had failed to protect his family and now Sarah was in danger, he had failed to keep her safe and now he was going to pay the ultimate sacrifice for it. It wasn't fair, all of his life he had said that not fully understanding what it was like for life to truly be unfair. First his parents then the intersect, then things started to turn around. He married Sarah, started Carmichael Industries, he was living the good life. Then Quinn messed it all up, no more memories meant no more Sarah, she ran after only a year. Then his downward spiral started. If it hadn't been for Ellie at that exact moment he would have blown his head off. Then Sarah returned and everything turned around. Life wasn't fair, every time Chuck got his hands on something positive the fates took it away from him. Sarah loved him and there was nothing he could do about it, she loved him to death yet any chance for them to explore that love had vanished without a trace. Everyone new that the news of Chucks death would crush Sarah, having to live with such guilt seemed like an impossible task for some even as strong as Sarah. As the van pulled to a stop about 500 yards from a massive warehouse Chuck clenched his hands together and spoke one final prayer before exiting the van.

"Casey give me a pistol I have a bad feeling about this, like something's off." Casey stopped in his tracks and stared at Chuck.

"Are you sure Chuck? Just remember if this goes bad you better be prepared to pull that trigger." Chuck simply nodded yes as Casey handed him the Sig Sauer P229 Pistol. Chuck tucked the pistol into the waistline of his pants.

This place reminded Chuck of what he thought hell would be like, the place was dark and eerily quiet the only sound was there footsteps. Chuck and Casey turned the corner and proceeded down a long dark hallway. Chuck and Casey were walking when Casey suddenly stopped in front of a dark room a sad blank stare on his face as he slowly swallowed and walked into the dark room. Chuck flipped on the light switch inside the room and the lights came on revealing a table with four restraints on it, two on one end of the table the others on the adjacent legs of said table.

"What is this place?" asked a horrified Chuck. Casey walked further into the room closer to the table the sad face still present. Casey put his hand to the table feeling the rough wood that the table had been constructed from. Casey couldn't take his eyes off the blood stains.

"I found her here." Casey said as he pointed to the table. "I found Sarah here." Casey's eyes had by now become misty as tears built up in his eyes. He wouldn't cry, he couldn't, not now.

"She was so thin when I found her, so helpless. She had been beaten beyond recognition. I still remember what she said to me… BLACKSPARROW." Chuck sniffled a bit as Casey told Chuck the heartbreaking story.

"It broke my heart to see the once invincible Agent Sarah Walker so broken and weak. She was so malnourished that she couldn't even stand up, she didn't have the energy. I carried her out of this hellhole. When I looked into her eyes, those deep pools of sapphire all I saw was fear and sadness. Regardless of weather this deal goes down or not, I will kill this man. I can promise you that much I will kill him for what he did to you and Sarah." The determination on Chuck's face really inspired confidence within Chuck.

"Casey make me one promise." Casey looked at Chuck.

"Anything." Chuck walked up to Casey and placed his hand on Casey's shoulder.

"Look out for her when I'm gone." Casey simply nodded as they both proceeded back down the hallway.

It was dark, ominously dark. Chuck and Casey found themselves in a big open expansive room with pillars on both sides, casting large shadows on the room projecting an ominous look on the room. There was a sudden flash of movement in the corner of the room causing Chuck's spy sense to kick into high gear. Chuck drew the gun from his waist.

"Hey Casey something's up were not alone here." Casey started to look around the room also sensing something.

"I'm sorry chuck but this deal isn't going to happen, we've walked into a trap." Chuck stopped in his tracks and looked at Casey.

"Yeah your right we need to bale before…" the sound of gunshots interrupted Chuck's train of thought. Both Chuck and Casey ran to hide behind the pillars while trying to get a grip on the situation.

"Casey can you see them?" Casey peeked his head around the pillar he was behind only to be followed by bullets whizzing by him. From what Casey could tell there were four gunman currently firing at them, each one was hiding behind a pillar laying down fire at them.

"Chuck we gotta get out of this position or this is going to turn into a giant cluster fuck really fast. Have one of my smoke grenades." Casey tossed Chuck the smoke grenade canister.

"On three we both toss them at the gunman then run over to the pillars on there side of the room, we need to turn the tables on them. Once you're over there start taking them out. On three, One Two Three." Both Chuck and Casey threw the grenades then sprinted over to the other side of the massive room. Chuck immediately flashed on hand to hand combat and leaped at the attackers. Two attackers ran at Chuck, the first one threw a ran hand jab at Chucks face, Chuck grabbed the mans wrist and practically threw him out of the way while extending his leg to kick the other attacker in the face. Chuck was still holding onto the first attacker and now threw his own left hand jab at the him, the punch connected and you could here the cracking of his jaw bone. The man reeled backwards allowing chuck time to set up his next attack, Chuck threw a right handed uppercut followed quickly by a left to the ribs. Casey kicked with his right foot, connecting with the attackers chest effectively knocking the wind out of his stomach. A quick elbow to the head and the attack fell unconscious. The fourth attacker jumped out at Casey, who responded by shooting the man in the chest.

"Damn I'm getting to old for this shit." Said Casey as he struggled to regain his breath. Chuck threw and open palmed jab at the first attackers nose breaking it with a load pop the man fell unconscious. The second attacker stood up having finally recovered from the kick and attacked Chuck rapping him in a head lock. Chuck threw his elbow backwards quickly making contact with the mans stomach. Chuck ducked and grabbed the mans head flipping him forward over Chucks head and onto the floor. The air rushed out of his chest as he hit he floor, Chuck took the time to regain his footing and wait for the ill prepared attacker to make his next move. The man stood up and assumed a fighting stance, a load gunshot rang out and the attacker fell into a heap dead. Chuck looked over his shoulder at Casey.

"Thanks." Casey looked at the unconscious man on the ground next to Chuck.

"Is he dead?" Casey pointed at the man. Chuck simply nodded no. Casey aimed his assault rifle at the man and fire, killing him instantly.

"He is now. Hey you want to kill this one guy over here? You know some catharsis threw violence." Chuck was adamantly shook his no.

"No I want to get some answers from him first." Just then the man started to stir, Casey walked over to the man and kicked him in the head knocking him out once again.

"Casey grab him and when he wakes up again just use a twilight dart we need him to be awake and alert." Casey simply shrugged as he grabbed the limp body of the attacker.

"Why don't we lock him inside the room where you found Sarah that way we can tie him up and leave him there till morning." Casey nodded as they both traveled to the room. After tying the man up they both left in need of a drink and time to think this over.

Casey and Chuck were sitting inside a local bar sipping on bud lights thinking.

"So Casey I think I'm going to question him tomorrow alone. I want to do this my way." Casey stopped drinking his beer and looked at Chuck like he was crazy.

"No way Chuck, in order to get answers from him you'll have to do some pretty terrible things and I don't want you to have to do that. Believe me you're not the same afterwards." Casey had a point Chuck was afraid that he might change if he did those things and Sarah wouldn't want anything to do with him if she heard of what he did.

"You right Casey I'll ask questions and if he doesn't talk you can just beat them out of him." Casey nodded in agreement.

XXXXXXXXXX

12:58 P.M.

BLACKSPARROW holding cell

Later that same day

Sarah was scared honestly scared, they hadn't raped her yet but they had roughed her up quite a bit. She was currently lying against the wall inside the cell she was being held in. She hadn't been able to stop crying since they had told her about the successful ambush of Chuck Bartowski and Colonel John Casey. He was dead, there was nobody left to save her. She was alone and there was nobody left to come find her. Nobody knew were she was and nobody would ever find out. She couldn't even fathom the pain that Ellie must be feeling now that her brother was dead. Sarah sobbed in silence the glow of the moonlight cascading into the room from the window. She had no bed to sleep on just a floor, and usually she was chained up to the wall but there was the one guard. He was merely a teenager but you could tell that he was in over his head. At night the one guard would come in without permission and unchain all but one of her legs so that she cold sleep on the floor instead of stand. He could speak English well enough that he could communicate with her. He told her that he felt bad for her, such a beautiful woman didn't deserve such torture. He tried to get her food any night that he could, they didn't feed her much. He told her that The Masked Man had special plans for Chuck and that he was truly sorry for her lose when he heard about Chuck. He was just a kid in a bad situation, he was an American that was clear from the skin tone he had. Sarah was distracted from her thoughts by the sound of the door opening, the guard walked in holding some bread and coffee.

"Hello Sarah, I'm sorry about your husband. I got you some bread and coffee, it was all that I could find." He quickly unlatched both of her arms and a leg leaving the other leg still chained up. He handed her the bread and coffee and sat against the other wall.

"I'm so sorry that my dad is doing this to you… again." Sarah choked on the coffee when he said that.

"What did you say? Did you just say that Ivan Jameson A.K.A. The Masked Man is your father?" he nodded yes.

"I'm David Jameson." Sarah swallowed slowly her face showing fear.

"No, no it's fine I'm nothing like him. Not even close I'm just working a job until I can go back to the states. I have some new information for you." Sarah perked up at the mention of information.

"So I've now been informed that the ambush wasn't successful, your husband is still alive and so is his friend. Also I've decided that if they try to break you out I'll let you go. My dad is crazy and I think it's wrong for him to keep you here. I'll only do that if they come for you though. I can't just help bust you out of here that's crazy, I'll die you'll get caught." Sarah was elated to say the least.

"Really?" if he was being truthful then this was some of the best news she had heard in more than a week.

"Yes, but I wouldn't be able to do it alone, we'd get caught so if they come for you I'll help get you out. I'm sorry but I have to go back out into the hall now I'll be back in thirty minutes to get rid of anything you don't eat so hurry up and eat." With that the guard waved goodbye then stepped out into the hall. Sarah wolfed down the bread and the coffee then set the cup out and waited for David to come back.

Thirty minutes later exactly David walked back in slowly and quietly. He picked up the cup and the little scrap of bread. Sarah looked at him with a genuine smile. She was terrified beyond belief of everybody else but he made her feel somewhat safe in this terrible situation she was in.

"Hey David will you come over here please." He looked a little hesitant.

"Come on I don't bite, I just want to give you something." He looked a little confused but came closer.

"Now David just bare with me on this okay." He nodded. Sarah smiled before grabbing onto his shoulders and pulled him into a kiss, David was shocked to say the least. When she broke the kiss, he had the most shocked look on his face.

"What was that for?" she simply smiled.

"That was simply a thank you for all that you have done for me while I've been in here. Good night David and once again thank you for everything." he had a very dazed look on his face as he walked out into the hall. Sarah settled into a _comfortable _position and settled in for the night.

XXXXXXXXXX

10:00 A.M.

The Old Warehouse

The Next Day

Chuck slammed the door shut waking his captive.

"Rise and shine, we got a big day today. I've got questions and you've got answers, so lets get this over with. Okay?" the man looked up at Chuck, still strapped to the table. The man shrugged and looked away.

"I'm not going to tell you shit so Fuck off." Chuck spun around and looked at the pathetic man.

"Oh but you will tell me everything that I want to know." Chuck walked closer to the man.

"Now why would I tell you anything?" That made Chuck very angry. Chuck grabbed the mans face and turned his head so that Chuck could speak into his ear.

"No you're going to talk because you left my strapped to this table for five damn months you pathetic excuse for a human being." Suddenly a light bulb went off in the man s head, this was Chuck Bartowski he was talking to. That meant that his wife was Sarah Walker, it was time to mess with this Chuck guy, a slimy smile crept onto his face.  
"I have to hand it to you Chuck you sure have great taste in women." He laughed maniacally as Chuck turned to look at him a look of rage on his face.

"She is simply _ravishing _Chuck. Probably the best fuck I've ever had. It's always better when they scream and struggle against you, it adds a little excitement to everything. she was so scared and so tight it was great. The way she screamed out BLACKSPARROW over and over. It really gets you going." He laughed again as Chuck paced in the room fuming. He had made it personal. Long gone was the thought of letting this man live, no this man needed to pay and Chuck was going to make him pay. He'd get the answers Chuck was looking for, yes he'd get answers alright. Chuck Bartowski was now in the back of his mind, Charles Carmichael was the one doing the walking and talking now and Carmichael wanted revenge. Chuck would carve this asshole up if he had to but the man would talk, Everybody talks.

"You'll pay for what you said buddy, I promise you that I'll make the next day of you life as painful a possible." Chuck gave him a sinister smile then walked back out into the hallway.

"I'll be back Casey." Said Chuck over his shoulder as he walked down the hallway.

"Where are you going?" shouted Casey trying to figure out what as going on.

"Shopping, I have to get some things from town… don't talk to are little friend." With that Chuck was gone leaving Casey to wonder what happened inside that room. Chuck had said not to talk to him so Casey would just have to wait and find out later.

XXXXXXXXXX

10:00 P.M.

Slam! The door closed with a thunderous boom. It was dark now except for the light. The man was strapped to a chair now his limbs secured by zip ties, his hands still secured to the table while his ankles were secured to the legs of the chair. He had a look of freight on his face from the sudden sound. Chuck set down a large blanket rolled up over some this on the table and looked into the scared mans eyes.

"Ready to talk yet?" the man spit at Chuck, Chuck wiped the spit off of his face.

"Not smart my friend." Chuck unrolled the blanket revealing a pair of plier's a hammer, various knives, a crowbar, and a power drill. Chuck put a small box down on the table, after opening the box Chuck pulled out a small syringe and a bottle.

"Now this is Pentahydroxone an experimental neurotoxin designed by the CIA especially to amplify pain in every nerve in your body so that your body feels like it's on fire, figuratively of coarse, So getting your finger nail pulled out hurts really, really, really, really bad. You following me so far? You wouldn't believe what I had to go threw to get some of this."

Chuck laughed maniacally as he injected the toxin into the frightened mans neck.

"Now that will kick in, in a couple of seconds so until then I should probably tell you that it last for about twelve hours and It keeps you from passing out so don't even think about trying anything, and I have an entire bottle so I can do this all day. Oh yeah I forgot to tell you that it also makes your hearing hypersensitive, SO WHEN I TALK LIKE THIS!" the man shrieked out in pain struggling against his restraints, the toxin sending pain signals to his brain.

"It hurts like hell. Now I'm going to ask you questions and your going to get three strikes, if you don't answer my question after three strikes you get pain. Lots of pain." Chuck grabbed a knife and looked.

"Where is The Masked Man holding my wife?" Chuck looked at the ma waiting for an answer.

"Piss off."

"Strike one."

"Go to hell."

"Strike two." Chuck put down the knife and grabbed the hammer.

"Your going to have to hurt me cause I'm not talking."

"Okay." Chuck swung the hammer, hitting the mans hand breaking the bones with a blood curdling pop. He shrieked in pain as the hammer made contact with his hand.

"I'll ask you again but this time you only get one strikes. Where is my wife!" Chuck was sinking deeper and deeper and he new before long he was going to lose himself but he had to do what was necessary to get Sarah back.

"Shit, no I ain't telling you shit."

"Strike one. Where is my wife?" Chuck was disgusted with himself but he didn't care he was going to make this man pay for what he did.

"Just remember Chuck two years ago when I was screwing your wife all she kept saying was save me Chuck, save me Chuck." He laughed loudly. "I bet she is saying that right now, save me Chuck, save me Chuck. Now the question is." He got really quiet as if to ponder what to say next.

"Is she really worth saving?" he laughed again mockingly as Chuck tightened his grip on the hammer. Chuck was determined to get this man to talk what ever it took.

"Okay have it your way." Chuck swung low under the table, the hammer making contact with the mans knee breaking it with an audible crunch. The man once again shrieked out in pain.

"Ahhh stop it." The man was desperate to make the pain stop but he couldn't tell this lunatic anything.

"You can make the pain stop, all you have to do is answer the question. Where is my wife?" the man nodded no trying to suppress a cry as the hammer made contact with his other knee, it was no use as he cried out the pain over coming him, he wanted to pass out everything felt like it was on fire. Chuck walked back over to the table and put down the now bloody hammer and grabbed the power drill pulling the trigger to add dramatic effect.

"Ready to talk yet?"

"Okay I'll talk just please stop hurting me." Chuck looked at him the hatred in his eyes.

"Oh yes you'll talk." Chuck pulled the trigger and moved the drill bit ever closer.

"Please, please don't, please stop." Tears ran down the mans cheeks as he begged Chuck for mercy. Chuck stopped moving the drill just before it touch the mans hand.

"The question is though when my wife begged you to stop… did you?" Casey could hear the screams through the door, Chuck left the drill there for a couple seconds before withdrawing it from the mans hand the drill bit dripping blood onto the table. Charles Carmichael was in full control and the rage within was telling him to finish the job.

"Talk now or it will only get worse." The man nodded yes then spoke in an uneasy tone.

"He is keeping her in an cell at the hospital in town. The hospital is a front for his nefarious deeds merely a shell for his operation in the back of the building. You'll never be able to get her back, place is a fortress. But hey look at it this way you can watch this time as they have their way with her, like your own private performance." Chuck pulled out the gun from the waist of his pants and pointed it at the man.

"No please, please don't. please don't." Chuck looked the man in the eye. He was quickly approaching the point of no return the point where he completely lost himself.

"Did you?" Chuck emptied the magazine into the mans chest, blood splattering all over Chuck. He had crossed the point of no return, simple as that. Chuck opened the door only to face Casey.

"Did you kill him?" asked a shocked Casey. Chuck seemed to think about it before answering.

"Yes I did and it felt great. I'm going to take a walk down town so I'll see you later." With that Chuck walked down the hallway.

"Casey call Gertrude send the jet to pick her up we are going to need all the help we can get." Said Chuck as he continued to walk down the hallway, dropping the smoking gun in stride. Chuck had said that he would do what ever it took to get Sarah back and he just proved it as Casey walked into the room to look at the horror show Chuck left behind. Chuck had left all right, Casey hoped that when Chuck came back that he actually came back Chuck and not the cold calculated Chuck that Casey had just seen. Even if this colder Chuck did get Sarah back he new she wouldn't like the Chuck that she would see. But what other option was there if cold Chuck was able to get her back? Casey and Sarah would just have to help Chuck deal with what he had just done and hope that Chuck came through.

As Chuck walked outside into the cold night air he could fight the sick feeling inside his stomach any longer. Chuck bent over and emptied the contents of his stomach. What had he done? He just killed man in cold blood. After torturing said dead guy. Chuck felt disgusted with himself, he had betrayed all of his morals and done thing far beyond reproach. Once Sarah found out about what he had done she wouldn't want anything to do with him, they had done this dance before. Sarah couldn't stand the site of him when she thought he killed that man for his red test he did nothing that time, but now he had brutally tortured and killed a guy in cold blood. No she could never know. This was one thing that would never be spoken of again. As Chuck walked back down the road and into town all he could think about was her, where she was, how she was doing. But he had to push those thoughts into the back of his mind and focus in the mission at hand, he needed to scope this place out before they did anything drastic. He'd investigate tonight and in a couple of days when Gertrud was here they go get her. But until then Chuck Bartowski had to let Charles Carmichael do the talking.

* * *

_**AN: NOW I KNOW I'M GOING TO GET ALOT OF FLACK FOR THIS CHAPTER BUT THE END IS NEAR FOR THIS STORY SO BUCKLE UP ITS GOING TO BE A BUMPY RIDE.**_

_**AN: DEFINITELY 1 MORE CHAPTER BUT I'M THINK ABOUT DOING AN EPILOGUE AFTER THAT SO BE WARNED :D**_


	13. Chapter 13

**_AN: SO THIS CHAPTER IS SORT OF A TRANSITION CHAPTER OF SORTS._**

**_AN: THIS CHAPTER WAS ORIGINALLY GOING TO BE THE FINAL CHAPTER BUT I DECIDE TO CUT IT INTO TWO CHAPTERS TO MAKE IT SHORTER._**

**_AN: SO THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY MEANT TO SHOW CHUCKS DECENT INTO MADNESS IF YOU WILL, IT IS MEANT TO SHOW YOU HIS BREAKING POINT._**

**_AN: THE EPIC CONCLUSION IS GOING TO BE A VERY INTERESTING_**

**_AN: SO I GOT INSPIRED TO WRITE THIS CHAPTER WHILE WATCHING THE MOVIE DREDD 3D WHICH IS A GREAT MOVIE BY THE WAY._**

* * *

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 13: The Breaking Point

"_**A**__** soldier doesn't fight because he hates the enemy in front of him, he fights because he loves what he left behind."**_

_**Mario Tomasello **_

The Old Warehouse

6 Hours Ago

Chuck had left all right, Casey hoped that when Chuck came back that he actually came back Chuck and not the cold calculated Chuck that Casey had just seen. Even if this colder Chuck did get Sarah back he new she wouldn't like the Chuck that she would see. But what other option was there if cold Chuck was able to get her back? Casey and Sarah would just have to help Chuck deal with what he had just done and hope that Chuck came through.

As Chuck walked outside into the cold night air he could fight the sick feeling inside his stomach any longer. Chuck bent over and emptied the contents of his stomach. What had he done? He just killed man in cold blood. After torturing said dead guy. Chuck felt disgusted with himself, he had betrayed all of his morals and done thing far beyond reproach. Once Sarah found out about what he had done she wouldn't want anything to do with him, they had done this dance before. Sarah couldn't stand the site of him when she thought he killed that man for his red test he did nothing that time, but now he had brutally tortured and killed a guy in cold blood. No she could never know. This was one thing that would never be spoken of again. As Chuck walked back down the road and into town all he could think about was her, where she was, how she was doing. But he had to push those thoughts into the back of his mind and focus in the mission at hand, he needed to scope this place out before they did anything drastic. He'd investigate tonight and in a couple of days when Gertrude was here they go get her. But until then Chuck Bartowski had to let Charles Carmichael do the talking.

January 3rd 2023

Downtown Mong Pan, Burma

4:48 A.M.

He had walked for hours on his quest for Sarah with each passing second things looked bleaker and bleaker. Unable to find the hospital Chuck stopped in a local bar to think over a beer.

"He gave me bad info, figures as much." Suddenly a sound started to get Chuck's attention, sirens! Chuck set down some money to pay for the beer and ran outside searching for the sound. An ambulance few by him sirens blaring as it sped down the tiny street. Chuck flashed on Burmese and read the writing on the ambulance, confirming that it was I deed an ambulance from the hospital Chuck sprinted after it. Leaping off the sidewalk Chuck chased after the ambulance as it turned left. Considering the traffic the ambulance couldn't go very fast giving Chuck a chance to grab onto a metal handle that extended from the top of the left side all the way down onto a little ledge. Chuck planted his feet on the ledge and hung on tight as the ambulance took him, if indirectly to the hospital that he had been searching for. Chuck breathed heavily as he used all of his strength to hold on, as if he was trying to maintain a grasp on his last hope of finding her. As the ambulance neared the hospital Chuck jumped off of the back rolling as he hit the ground, moving at a fast pace. Trying to stay in the shadows as he walked into an alley behind the building. Two men spoke in Burmese looking like they were arguing as they opened up a semi trailer that was backed up to a loading dock. Chuck moved from one shadow to another one getting closer to see what they were doing in the poorly lit alleyway. They opened the trailer and about 30 or 40 teenage girls all of Burmese descent walked out. Chuck's breath caught in his throat as he watched the disturbing sight. Chuck quickly but silently ran up to the side of trailer sneaking ever closer to the two men unloading the trailer.

"Okay lets play." Said Chuck under his breath as he silently ran at the two men. Chuck leapt onto the raised platform that was the loading dock totally surprising the to men. Chuck punched the first one in the throat before hitting him in the temple with his other fist the first man fell to the ground unconscious. The man drew his gun but didn't fire, he had frozen. The man was clearly scared and afraid you could see it in his eyes. The man went to pistol whip Chuck but it didn't even faze Chuck as he retrieved the gun from him.

"Now I'm not going to kill you but I have to free these people so…" the sound of a gunshot rang threw the night as the man sank to the ground holding onto his now bleeding knee. Chuck spoke in Burmese to all of the girls telling them to run away and escape which they all did. Chuck took the mans hat to ware in case they had security cameras. Chuck walked into the building slowly looking at anything he could see. Chuck turned the corner and walked into a freezer room. Nobody saw him but he could clearly see two gentleman in lab coats performing what looked like an autopsy on a dead woman's corps. Chuck decided to continue his search of the rest of this horrible place. There were screams coming from a room down the hall, they were the screams of a woman. The sound sent chills up Chuck's spine as he turned the corner. Chuck saw something he wouldn't soon forget. There in front of him about 30 feet away were 6 big muscular gentlemen sexually assaulting a Burmese woman, she had jet black hair and was strapped to a table similar to what Sarah was strapped to for so many torturous months. Chuck couldn't take watching any more he had to act. Chuck drew the pistol that he was still carrying and slowly silently walked up behind the men. There was a machine gun lying on the ground presumably ware one of them had left it. He picked it up and shouldered it, he truly hated guns but he was resolved in the fact that he would only use them when he deemed it absolutely necessary and it was absolutely necessary right now. Chuck wouldn't kill them but he had to make sure that he immobilized all of them so he did, in what was only a couple of seconds he shot all of them in the knees thus immobilizing them. He unstrapped the woman and picked her up and walked her over to the wall and set her down, she was so weak and frail.

"Shoot me please." She said in a barely audible voice. It was obvious that she couldn't speak English very well but Chuck understood what she said. He shook his head no.

"Shoot…me…please. Please…kill…me." Chuck shook his head no again. He couldn't kill this poor woman it would eat him up inside.

"Please…kill…me." He simply sighed as he pulled the pistol out of his waist band and placed it in her hand. Chuck got up and left the room, as he made his way silently down the hallway the sound of a gunshot told him all that he needed to know. Maybe Sarah would forgive him but in his heart he new that he would never be at peace with what he had just done. As he made his way back to the exit he had come in having seen all that he had needed to know that this was definitely the place. Now all he had to do was figure out were she was.

She couldn't sleep, plain and simple. She was worrying about Chuck again and there was no end in sight. David had come and unchained her but unlike most days she was standing up and looking out the window into the dark alley. She missed Chuck terribly and worried about. She new what he would think is happening to her and quite frankly it still could at any moment. She new that he was probably lying in bed right now thinking about her. She felt so bad for Chuck, he had just gotten Sarah back and now she was gone and it was not likely that she would get the chance to go back. That brought tears to her eyes, Chuck deserved so much more than this. He was so nice to everybody and yet he had to endure the constant rejection, betrayal, and abandonment. She had promised him that she would never leave again, that he would never hurt again and it made her sad that she would have to let him down again.

Chuck was silently walking down the alley as he began the long trek back to the hotel. She was there, in that building and he was walking away. It tore at his insides but it was what was necessary, she was in there and he had to walk away. Who knew what she was going threw, he didn't even want to think about that, he couldn't. He had to be smart about this if he went in there all guns blazing he would die which meant that she would die and that was not going to happen, that was unacceptable.

Sarah spotted a man walking slowly through the alley, he was 6 feet 4 inches tall lanky in build with short dark brown hair. He carried a machine gun in his right hand and a hat in his other. He looked tired and weary, like he had seen the worst of this world and had conquered it all. She was captivated watching this man as he walked slowly almost as if searching for something. Sarah couldn't believe her eyes when the man turned around.

"Chuck." She couldn't believe that he was here he had found her. She tapped on the glass window trying to get his attention but lightly enough as to not attract attention from anybody outside her cell. Chuck heard a slight tapping sound and he couldn't figure out where it was coming from. When she laid eyes on him she could tell that he was tired, he looked like he hadn't gotten any meaningful sleep in a while. He looked up at the building searching for the source of the sound when he saw it. There was a long line of windows one floor off of the ground one window every seven or so feet. Sarah looked into his eyes as he searched the windows for anything. They locked eyes his glistening in the moon light. she mouthed I love you to him and blew him a kiss.

"I love you, I'll be back I promise." He mouthed before frantically looking over his shoulder. She could see the trails of the flash lights approach and signaled for him to run which he did, she watched as Chuck Bartowski disappeared into the darkness, a lone tear ran down her cheek, for all she knew this could be the last time that she ever saw him and it broke her heart.

XXXXXXXXXX

January 4th 2023

The Hotel, Mong Pan, Burma

7:09 A.M.

Chuck stumbled into the room dropping the Guns into a chair and fell onto one of the beds. Casey was sitting in a chair typing on a laptop when he looked up at him.

"find out what you needed to know Chuck." Chuck mumbled something unintelligible into a pillow.

"Mind telling me what you found out." Chuck sat up and looked at Casey with a look of exasperation on his face.

"I haven't slept in over 20 hours please just let me rest for 5 minutes. I've stabbed, punched, bludgeoned, shot, and torture people today please just 5 minutes." His eyes glistened in the light of the early morning sun, Casey could see that Chuck was really struggling with something.

"It's going to be okay Chuck, we'll get her back. I don't know what you saw there and maybe I don't want to know but trust me If you need to talk about it then I'm here, because the worst thing you could do is keep it all bottled up inside. You've never encountered stuff like that and I know that it had to be traumatic." Chuck was close to breaking down, a man could only take so much before he got to the breaking point.

"I saw her…" Casey didn't quite understand that. "What did you say Chuck?"

"I saw Sarah, in a window at the hospital. They're holding her at that hellhole. She was right there I could see her and I left her." Chuck let his head fall into his hands as silent sob racked him.

"Chuck it's going to be okay, just get some sleep you need it. I'm going to make a call." Casey got up and closed the curtains before stepping out into the hallway. As he dialed Gertrude's number he couldn't shake the feeling that Chuck would never be the same after all this was over, and it both worried and saddened him.

"Hey Gerty its me, we need you to fly out here things have gotten complicated… yes we need a tact team also. Were going in to get her. The trade was a trap. It's the only option. Okay see you in a couple days." As he hung up the phone he took in a deep breath to calm the thoughts buzzing around in his head. It was going to be a long couple of days.

* * *

_**AN: SO THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE SO PREPARE YOURSELF.**_

_**AN: I'VE DECIDED TO WRITE AN EPILOGUE. **_


	14. Chapter 14

**_AN: SO I DECIDED TO SPLIT THE ENDING INTO TWO CHAPTERS HERE IS HE FIRST HALF_**

**_AN: SO I'M GOING TO REWRITE THE SECOND HALF OF THE ENDING AND ALSO ADD WHAT WOULD HAVE BEEN THE EPILOGUE TO THE 15TH CHAPTER_**

**_AN: SORRY THAT IT TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE THIS WAS REALLY REALLY HARD TO WRITE._**

**_AN: PLEASE REVIEW I REALLY WANT FEEDBACK ON THIS CHAPTER_**

**_AN: I DON'T OWN CHUCK_**

* * *

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 14: The Heart of Darkness

"_**Knowing your own darkness is the best method for dealing with the darknesses of other people."**_

_**Carl Jung**_

The Hotel, Mong Pan, Burma

1:09 P.M.

2 Days Later

Gertrude and Casey sat in the two chairs in the hotel room, they had been exchanging small talk as the watched Chuck sleep. Gertrude had arrived with a tact team 2 hours earlier and Casey was thoroughly enjoying talking to his wife. Chuck was still asleep which surprised them both. Chuck was usually an early riser but he had been sleeping a lot since getting back from that hospital.

"So how long has our boy here been like this?" asked Gertrude as she looked over at Casey. Casey sighed as he ran his hand through his ever-reseeding hair.

"Two days ago he had a rough day I'll spare you the gory details but lets just say that he did some things that he'll never forgive himself for. He saw her and it tore his heart out. He has been sleeping off and on like this since. The kid just can't catch a break." Gertrude nodded then sipped her coffee.

"We need to hurry if we want to go get Sarah, I don't know how much time we have before Jameson does something to her."

XXXXXXXXXX

The Hospital

3:56 P.M.

Sarah could here something out in the hallway approaching slowly, ominously. Like every morning David had come in and chained her back up but today he seemed a little off, like he was scared or something. Of coarse she thought nothing of it. The iron bars of the cell opened up and in walked David followed closely by The Masked Man and two henchmen.

"Sarah, Sarah, Sarah you have been very bad." The Masked Man was waving knife in her face. He laughed maniacally at her feeble attempt to move away from the knife.

"Yes you have been very bad. I know about what has been going on at night." Sarah swallowed slowly, her eyes as wide as saucers.

"I think you need to be punished for it." The Masked Man snapped his fingers and the two henchmen brought in a brief case, a chair and restraints.

"And I know exactly how I'm going to punish you." He snapped his fingers again and his two henchmen unchained her. Once she was restrained in the chair The Masked Man opened the brief case and pulled out a pair of sunglasses.

"Now you see these sunglasses Agent Walker, they are Intersect glasses. Corrupt Intersect glasses to be exact, every time you flash with this in your head it will eat at a chunk of your memories, one memory at a time." He laughed as he looked at them.

"You see this mask Agent Walker, your husband did this two me. When Shaw gave himself up so many years ago Chuck and the CIA bombed the Ring facility." He took the mask off to reveal his scared mutilated face.

"When I got back from the hospital my wife couldn't stand the sight of me." He smiled at her as she looked on in horror. Massive scars and burns crosshatched all over his face painting a portrait of pain and suffering. He laughed as he looked down at the mask. He spoke in an unsettling calm.

"She left my newborn son David and I to fend for our selves. I promised my self that I would make Chuck and the CIA pay for this and now I will, I'm going to take their best agent." He looked up at her as he continued

"And give her a little makeover. I'm going to take away all of her memories and turn her pretty face into this." He pointed his blade at his face to emphasize the point.

"Then I'll turn her loose on the CIA and show them the price of their actions… by killing The President of the United States." He put his mask back on and took a breath.

"You wouldn't even dare." Said Sarah defiantly as she looked up and her captor. The masked man laughed loudly

"Wouldn't I?" he pulled out his pistol and shot David in the chest. Sarah looked over at David, the blood running down his body.

"I just shot my own son, do you really think I won't do it?" Sarah went into panic mode immediately as she watched David's body fall into a heap.  
"Please I beg of you not to do this… I'm sorry about what happened to you." She said quickly as tears ran down her face.

"Please have some mercy, I'll do anything just please don't do this." She was sobbing as she saw The Masked Man open the glasses and move toward her.

"Tell you what Agent Walker I'll make you a deal." She looked up at him searching the slits that hid his eyes.

"At 8 o clock tonight three of my henchmen will walk into your cell and well lets just say that you need to make sure that they have a very good evening if you now what I mean." Sarah's mind was reeling from the position she had just been put in, cheat on Chuck or lose him forever.

"You bastard." Sarah said meekly as tears continued to cascade down her cheeks. Sarah let out a defeated sigh before she spoke.

"You have a deal I'll sleep with three of your men." Sarah had given up, any fight that she had left was now gone, he had beaten her and he new it. He now had the ultimate bargaining chip. All Sarah could do now was hope that Chuck came to save her in time.

XXXXXXXXXX

The Old Warehouse

7:00 P.M.

18 men stood before Chuck, Casey and Gertrude. They looked at the collective group of men that once worked for Verbanski Corp. When Casey got back from BLACKSPARROW they decided it was time to retire, having nobody in the family interested in running Verbanski Corp they sold all of it's assets to another Private security firm, this was all that she could gather on such short notice. Chuck had just outlined the plan to storm The Masked Mans building.

"I'll repeat the plan once again… all of use ride up to the side entrance inside the Semi Truck that I rented and the comms van. Then Casey, Gertrude and I sneak into the building. Once we have secured Sarah, we will relay over the comms and you will storm into the building. We have to make sure that we get Both Sarah and The Masked Man they are our Primary objectives. Understood?" He bellowed as they replied with yes sirs and the like. Casey and Gertrude shared a worried glance as they saw the dark determination on Chucks Face.

"Okay lets roll." He grabbed his tactical gear and they all walked outside to the vehicles. As Chuck holstered his silenced Pistol Casey wondered if Chuck was all there mentally.

"Chuck you okay?" asked Casey as he looked at Chuck.

"Never better." Chuck never made eye contact as he put the earwig into his ear and checked his comms. Chuck climbed into the driver's seat of the semi truck and started it up. As the two vehicles sped off on their mission a nervous calm descended over everybody.

XXXXXXXXXX

Downtown Mong Pan

7:45 P.M.

As they approached the Hospital Chuck took a steadying breath as he pulled over to the side of the road.

"So I need you to switch positions with me. They may identify me when they stop us." The team member sitting next to him was in a disguise, warring street close. They quickly switched positions and proceeded towards the hospital. Chuck took in another breath before speaking again.

"Show time." As they pulled into the alley they spotted only one guard unlike when Chuck was here last time, this would make it easier to sneak in.

"Take out the guard Mike when he approaches the door." Said Chuck in monotone as he watched the lone guard walk slowly towards the truck. They opened the door and the guard looked up at them. Just as he was about to speak Mike pulled out his silenced pistol and eliminated the guard.

Chuck waived the truck back towards the loading dock telling Mike when to stop. Chuck opened the door and spoke to the Men inside.

"Okay show time, remember don't rush in until I give the signal over the comms." Chuck then leapt off of the loading dock and walked over to the Comms van. As he opened up the sliding door he was surprised to see Casey and Gertrude making out.

"Really Casey?" as they continued Chuck just grunted and went back to grab his assault rifle.

"So Chuck change of plans. Gertrude is going to stay inside the van and watch the comms, she thinks that she can hack into their security cameras inside and give us an idea of what lie ahead." Chuck nodded and grabbed his ammo; Chuck knew that this wasn't a mission where he could get away with using a tranq gun. No he needed a real weapon this time. He was okay with it though because he new that it is only what is necessary. Chuck and Casey walked over towards the door leading to the interior of the building.

The place was ominously dark the walls dripped with condensation, the flicker of a lone neon light illuminating the hallway. Chuck and Casey walked silently down the hallway guns pointed ahead, watching for any sudden movement. The hallway ended at an intersection with two closed doors in front of them and hallway on either side. Chuck pushed one open of the doors, they were hit with a sudden chill, it was really cold. They must have been in some form of refrigerator room, Chuck and Casey couldn't figure out what room this was until Casey saw a plastic bag laying on a bloody metal table. Various knives and tools lay next to the bag, Chuck picked up the bag and looked at it. The inside was covered with blood and there was something squishy inside of it. It was a human organ! Chuck quickly set the bag back down on the table.

"Casey this is an organ storage room!" Chuck whispered.

"Oh shit this is bad." Said Casey as he gasped at all of the bags. They were on shelves floor to ceiling. Chuck noticed a door in the back of the room and moved toward it, pushing it open he looked inside for a light switch. After finding the light switch he flipped on the light only to gaze upon one of the most horrifying things he would ever see. There was a girl, she looked dead but Chuck couldn't tell. Cuts and bruises scarred her mutilated body; her arms were chained above her head her legs spread apart. There was blood everywhere, on the floor, on the walls, it was simply everywhere. Chuck fought the bile rising in his throat. Casey came inside and gasped at the site.

"Chuck we've got to keep moving." Chuck took a steadying breath as he nodded; they left the room and continued their search.

"Gertrude this place is messed up, we've got to stop this guy." Said Casey over the comms as he took one final look before closing the door. As they made their way through the hallways the calm emptiness of the place unnerved Chuck, it made him uneasy. They backtracked all the way to the exit of the building and started over, this may take longer then they thought.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sarah's Cell

8:00 P.M.

Sarah was trying to prepare herself emotionally as well as mentally for the coming evening. What she was about to do was against all of her morals but yet she had to do this, she made Chuck a promise that she would never leave him again and she was damn sure that she would never break another promise to him ever again, the pain she had caused him already was enough for a life time let alone if she was turned into a crazy killing machine with no emotions. The look on Chucks face when he laid eyes on Sarah Walker the crazy killing machine would be heart breaking. His wife turned into a monster and put on display for the whole world to see, no never she would do anything in her power to come back to him. Even if that meant that she had to endure a couple hours of rape. Of coarse the less Chuck knew about it the better it would be.

The men would be arriving soon and she knew it. Sarah said a small prayer to herself as she heard footsteps in the hallway. Sarah wasn't a really religious woman but she did occasionally look to god in times of crisis. The sound of footsteps shook her from her thoughts.

XXXXXXXXX

Hallway

8:30 P.M.

Chuck and Casey had finally found the second floor and were searching every inch of it for her.

"Chuck what does that door say, I can't read it." Chuck looked at the dusty door and flashed instantly.

**Female slaves only**

"Female Slaves only…" Casey looked at Chuck before pushing the door open slowly, quietly. Inside there were curtains rows of them as if they were supposed to be like rooms. All you could here were soft moaning sounds. Chuck walked over to a curtain and pulled it back slightly. Inside was a man and a woman, the woman was lying there naked sweat dripping down her face. She looked rather limp almost lifeless. The man was busy having his way with her, which disgusted Chuck to no end. She must have been drugged or something because she didn't move just lied there limp. Chuck pulled back and whispered at Casey.

"This room is filled with sex slaves we need to check each curtain, she may be in here." Casey nodded and started to check. Chuck prayed to god that she wasn't in this room.

Chuck had looked into over twenty curtains and only had one more to Check before he had checked all of he ones he was supposed to check. Casey quietly spoke to Chuck.

"This we need to find this man Chuck, this sick bastard is gonna die." Casey seethed as he continued the disturbing task of checking each curtain. Chuck slowly discreetly opened the curtain a crack and looked inside, he gasped when he saw it. There was a man and a woman inside doing what all of them were doing. But what surprised Chuck was the woman her self, she was lying on her stomach so he couldn't see her face. All he could see was her golden blonde hair. All of his muscles clenched as rage built up inside of him. He ripped open the curtain and walked inside, the man looked up at him a look of fear on his face as Chuck pointed his assault rifle at him. Chuck slowly inched his way over to the limp drugged up woman lying on the disgusting mattress, he grabbed onto her shoulder and rolled her over onto her back, it wasn't Sarah. Chuck looked at the woman's face, nothing moved. Chuck moved his hand to her neck and checked for a pulse, there wasn't one. Chuck shrugged as he closed her eyes and look at the man. Casey came over and looked at the man, he looked at the lifeless woman on the mattress and then back at the man.

"Chuck we need to keep moving." Said Casey as he looked at Chuck. Chuck simply nodded and let his gun hang loosely around his shoulder. Chuck and Casey walked back out into the hallway and continued their search of the second floor. Chuck was having a hard time staying composed at this moment, he had seen so many horrible things today and he knew it was only going to get worse.

XXXXXXXXXX

Sarah's Cell

8:32 P.M.

The Masked mans henchman had spent the last few minutes toying with her, copping feels and doing things of the like. It was easy for them considering she was chained to a wall. They laughed as tears ran down her face. Finally one of the henchmen spoke, he could barley speak in English but he did speak.

"Now it is time for really fun, you see this?" he held up a syringe with a clear liquid in it.

"This is a special drug that will make you totally helpless. You won't be able to move, or speak, or do anything but breathe. Lucky for you it only lasts thirty minutes, or maybe that' isn't lucky for you, it all depends on how you look at it" He laughed as she cried; he moved closer to her and stuck the syringe into her neck and injected the drug into her body. Her breathing became slow and erratic as the drug coursed through her body. Just before the drug took total control of her she turned her head and saw two men standing outside of the cell, she could see but she couldn't hear. She saw the flash of two guns and all of the henchmen fell to the ground. Her vision had become rather fuzzy so she could tell who the two men were until they came closer. She took in a sharp labored breath as Chuck starred her in the face he was saying something but all she could hear was a ringing sound. She felt the chains give way and she fell limp into Chuck's arms. She couldn't move but she could feel the sensation of movement, he was carrying her. The last she saw before blacking out was gunfire coming from down the hall, Chuck set her down and lifted his gun a look of determination on his face, then she blacked out.

* * *

_**AN: SO ONE MORE CHAPTER THEN THIS ONE IS DONE I HOPE YOU**_

_**AN: THE LAST CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE A LONG ONE AND I THINK THE TITLE IS GOING TO BE **_**SINS OF AN UNFORGIVABLE NATURE **

_**AN: SO I HOPE YOU ENJOY READING THIS CHAPTER UNTIL NEXT TIME :D**_


	15. Chapter 15

**_AN: SO STRANGELY ENOUGH MY MOTHER JUST GAVE ME MY LAPTOP BACK SO NOW I CAN UPDATE AGAIN._**

**_AN: SO THIS IS IT THE LAST FULL CHAPTER OF 9 YEARS WITHOUT YOU, HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS STORY AS MUCH AS I ENJOYED WRITING IT._**

**_AN: THE EPILOGUE IS A SEPARATE CHAPTER FYI._**

**_AN: PLEASE REVIEW I ENJOY YOUR FEEDBACK AND IT REALLY HELPS MY WRITING SKILLS._**

**_I DON'T OWN CHUCK BUT I REALLY WISH I DID._**

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9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 15: Damaged

"_**The shock of any trauma, I think changes your life. It's more acute in the beginning and after a little time you settle back to what you were. However it leaves an indelible mark on your psyche."**_

_**Unknown**_

The Comms Van

9:30 P.M.

Sarah's eyes opened slowly, she felt groggy and her mind was all fuzzy. She blinked a few times as she sat up. As she took in her surroundings she tried to remember what had happened, then the realization hit her like a ton of bricks.

"Chuck! Where is Chuck?" she looked around the strange van before noticing Casey and Gertrude in the front seats.

"Hey your awake." Casey stopped the van and looked back. Gertrude turned around and walked between the two captains chairs into the back.

"How are you feeling Sarah? You passed out on us, we thought we lost you." Sarah attempted to get out but Gertrude stopped her.

"Where is Chuck? Where is my husband?"

45 Minutes ago

Bullets flew by them as Casey, Chuck and Sarah's unconscious body crouched behind a brick wall. The Masked Man's men had them pinned down and it didn't look good. Chuck was looking at Sarah wondering if this was the end for them. They had managed to move the forty feet from her cell to the intersection in the hallway where they had quickly become pinned. Word had come over the comms that the tact team had been eliminated. Casey had been doing the shooting as of late as Chuck had been holding onto Sarah. Chuck was getting aggravated at the current situation, Casey couldn't do this but he could. With the help of the Intersect he could get them out, but he didn't know if he was prepared to do anything necessary. Casey looked at Chuck before reloading. Chuck put his hand on Casey's shoulder and spoke.

"My turn." Casey simply nodded as Chuck flashed, several different things flashed through Chuck's head.

**Krav Maga Fighting Techniques**

**Tactical Weapons Usage Techniques**

**Ninjitsu**

**Knife Skills**

Chuck's eyes opened and he knew that he was ready for this; Chuck pulled the pin on a flash bang grenade and threw it down the hall. After hearing the load bang Chuck whipped around the corner and started dropping guys one after another. The Intersect was in total control as he continued to kill any enemy combatant that he saw. All the enemy combatants in the hallway had been eliminated and the dust had settled. Casey came from around the corner fireman carrying Sarah. Chuck put his assault rifle over his shoulder and picked up a shotgun off of the ground.

"Keep moving." It was all Chuck said as he walked down the hallway leading to the stairs. Chuck knew that the next set of guys would probably be set up at or near the stairs so he pulled a Grenade off of his vest and threw it down the stairs. There were many screams followed closely by a loud explosion. Chuck motioned for Casey to wait there as he checked the stairs.

"Okay were clear let's go." Said Chuck was he walked quickly down the stairs. There was blood everywhere at the bottom of the stairs as several corpses laid scattered all over the floor. Chuck noticed a camera looking right at him and looked into it before shooting it with his pistol.

As the camera operator watched the camera feed go off line he looked up at The Masked Man and spoke.

"What do we do sir he just blew through 35 men without a scratch?" the masked man continued to look at the other feeds as he grabbed his pistol off the table and walked up to the door.

"Push him towards the back alley I'll deal with him there." The Masked Man walked out the door leaving the camera operator wondering how to do that.

They were at the final stretch so to speak. The door leading to the alley was in sight. They had spent the better part of 30 minutes fighting there way to here and they were once again pinned down. They were nearly out of ammo and the enemy combatants were closing in quickly. Chuck looked over at Casey and spoke.

"It looks like this is the end of the road my friend." Chuck was out of ammo so he put his weapon on the ground a held Sarah close one last time. He kissed the top of her head as a tear ran down his face. He closed his eyes waiting for the end. There was a lone gunshot followed closely by a loud explosion and then a deafening quiet. Chuck opened his eyes slowly and stood up to look around. Everybody was dead; the wall was on fire a lone gas line ruptured. Casey picked up Sarah and walked out into the alley followed by Chuck. Chuck and Casey walked down the alley quickly, when Chuck heard a robotic voice call his name, he stopped and turned around. The Masked Man walked out from behind some pipes and looked at Chuck. The Masked Man's usual brown trench coat was missing along with his shirt revealing his massive upper body.

"Chuck Bartowski it is time to face your destiny." Said The Masked Man as he slowly walked toward them.

"Casey take Sarah and go wait in the car I'll be there in a minute." Chuck dropped his shotgun and his assault rifle and walked toward him. Casey looked on as they stared down one another, he was surprised at how much bigger The Masked Man was then Chuck.

The Masked Man looked at Chuck and laughed.

"I want you to see what you did to me before I kill you." The Masked Man reached back and released the latch that kept the mask on his face and let the mask fall to the ground revealing his scarred face. Chuck unzipped his bulletproof vest and dropped it to the ground to allow him more mobility.

"I promise you Chuck that when I capture Sarah again I'll make her death quick and painless. You on the other hand won't be so lucky." The Masked Man threw a flurry of punches and kicks before Chuck had time to flash causing Chuck to receive a large amount of punishment. Chuck stumbled backwards and collected himself before flashing. He smiled as he stepped toward the masked man throwing punches and kicks left and right. The Masked Man was having little trouble blocking Chuck's attack and before Chuck knew it The Masked Man started attacking again. Chuck had less trouble blocking punches this time but still received a nasty hook right into his jaw knocking him off his feet.

"You fight like a young man, with nothing held back, Admirable but foolish." The Masked Man reached down and picked up Chuck holding him over his head.

"I was wondering what would break first your mind, or your body." The masked man threw Chuck down onto the harsh dirt of the ground. Chuck flipped over and looked at The Masked Man.

"What are you?" asked Chuck. The Masked Man looked down at him before speaking.

"I am your reckoning Chuck." Chuck stood up again and faced him, his face bleeding, his balance somewhat wobbly. He could barely stand up let alone fight but he did anyway. Chuck flashed again and threw a punch; The Masked Man blocked it with ease as he thrust a knife forward into Chuck's abdomen. Chuck cried out in pain as he fell to the ground. Chuck took the knife and pulled it out of his body before throwing it away. The Masked Man grabbed a weak Chuck by the shirt and stood him back up. Chuck threw another punch and missed again. The Masked Man picked up a metal pipe and turned to face Chuck again. Chuck initiated another attack but was met with a surprise when the metal pipe first blocked his punch then struck his left knee. Chuck cried out in pain once again as he sank to the ground once again. Chuck looked on as The Masked Man walked around as if he was thinking about what to do next. Chuck looked at his legs; the left knee was horribly disfigured. When he looked at his right leg he spotted a spare pistol that he forgot that he was carrying. He quickly pulled it out and looked at The Masked Man. The Masked Man turned in time to see Chuck raise the pistol and fire fifteen shots all making contact. The Masked Man stumbled before finally falling to the ground fall down in the mud. Chuck dropped the pistol and flipped over, he had to get to the van. He was in excruciating pain his left knee completely useless. He had to get back to Sarah; Chuck began to slowly crawl through the mud even though he knew that it was useless. Chuck was losing blood and he knew that he was going to die. He fought the impending darkness but eventually gave in knowing that he had completed his mission.

"Goodbye Sarah." Chuck lost consciousness and fell limp.

9:35 P.M.

Casey and Gertrude shared a knowing look before Casey spoke

"We don't know for sure, after we got out of that building The Masked Man cornered us. Chuck told me to get to the car and wait there. That was nearly thirty minutes ago. We've been circling the block ever since." Sarah was reeling she didn't know what to think.

"I have to go find him, take me back to the building. I have to go, I have to save him. I can't live without him." Sarah was adamant she wouldn't take no for an answer. As they pulled up to the alley Sarah threw open the door and sprinted into the alley. Sarah stopped at the loading dock and looked around, Flames shot out of every door and window. The building was a blaze as smoke flew up into the sky. As she looked around she spotted two bodies lying in the mud about 50 feet away. Sarah sprinted over to the bodies, they were both lying face down. There was blood everywhere; it was truly a ghastly sight. Sarah crouched down and flipped over one of the bodies, the man was rather large and muscular. When she flipped him over she couldn't believe whom she saw, it was The Masked Man. His chest had numerous gunshot wounds in it and he was covered in blood. As she flipped over the significantly lankier body she nearly lost it.

"Chuck! Wake up honey, Chuck!" she shook his body furiously as tears threatened to fall.

"Chuck! Please don't leave me, I can't live without you, please wake up." She fell on top of him her head and arms falling onto his chest as she continued to sob.

"I'm so sorry Chuck, I failed you, I'm so sorry." She planted a sad kiss on his forehead her tears falling onto his face.

"I'm sorry Chuck, You saved me and it cost you your life." Sarah sat back as she looked at his face, it was contorted in pain.

"Why god? I'm not worth saving! I'm just not!" Sarah pounded on his chest in catharsis; she couldn't loose him now. They had been through so much and this is how it ended. Sarah cried out in anguish as she slumped over Chuck.

"He could do so much better then me, I'm simply not worth so much sacrifice." She continued to cry as her head rested on his chest.

"Yes you are…" Sarah's head shot up as she looked at Chuck.

"You are worth saving, you are worth such sacrifice." He was super weak but he had to comfort her, he lifted his hand and rubbed her cheek. She was shocked into silence, he was alive!

"Chuck?" her voice was shaky as hear sobs subsided.

"I'm never leaving you Sarah I promise." She smiled as she practically leapt into his arms planting kisses all over his dirty face. As she helped him sit up she noticed a big blood spot on his left side.

"Oh my god Chuck you're hurt." She also noticed that his left knee was severely injured. She cringed at the sight of it.

"He shattered my knee during the fight after he stabbed me with a knife." She looked around and spotted a bloody knife about six feet away.

"I killed him Sarah, I killed The Masked Man." Sarah knew that he was hurting both mentally and physically and that he needed help.

"Chuck we need to get you out of here okay I'm going to help you stand up don't put weight on that leg." Chuck nodded then gritted his teeth as Sarah got under his left arm and helped him get up. As Chuck started to hop his way down the alley toward there van he cried out as he stumbled a little Sarah caught him but it was still incredibly painful.

Casey and Gertrude were standing outside waiting for Sarah when they heard the scream of a man; they went to investigate. Chuck and Sarah were slowly making there way down the alley when they saw Casey and Gertrude walking towards them.

"He is hurt and he needs help." Yelled Sarah as their two friends ran toward them. When Casey and Gertrude finally got to them they looked at Chuck and couldn't believe the sight before them. Chuck was a mess he had bloodstains all over his clothes his knee was a grotesque sight and he was bleeding.

"Oh my god." Said Casey in shock. Casey replaced Sarah in the helping Chuck department considering that Casey was taller and stronger. Gertrude ran to get the van.

"How did this happen?" Asked Casey as Chuck winced in pain.

"He hit me in the knee with a metal pipe." Casey just nodded in acknowledgment. Moments later Gertrude returned with the van, once stopped Sarah opened up the sliding door and helped put Chuck inside the van. As they all drove away a lone Fire truck sped past them. They all turned around in time to see the hospital building collapse into rubble thus ending a horrible chapter in all of their lives.

XXXXXXXXXX

Westside Medical, Los Angelis California

3:00 A.M.

5 Days Later

He couldn't sleep simple as that; images of the past two weeks float through his head like a never-ending movie, terrible images almost burned into his subconscious. He couldn't make it stop, all he saw when he closed his eyes was them, all of them. All the men he killed all the helpless people he didn't save, couldn't save. All the helpless slaves that burned to death, all of the prisoners that he couldn't release. He hadn't slept in days, rest was like the door at the end of the dark hallway that he couldn't reach no matter how hard he ran, of coarse he knew exactly why, he missed Sarah. She was staying at Gertrude and Casey's place. Their house was gone and the guesthouse was full to the brim. The doctor had said that Chuck had a concussion and would have to walk with a cane for about a year but that he was totally fine otherwise, they were keeping him in the hospital and wouldn't let him leave considering the massive blood lose that he suffered. They had operated on his leg and had stitched up the knife wound. Casey had done a good job stopping the bleeding but the hospital stitched it up.

He remembered the morning that they had gotten back to the United States; everyone was there to greet them. They didn't expect what they saw; most were horrified. You could tell that Ellie was trying not to cry, seeing her little brother so broken and suffering just broke her heart. Sarah and Emma shared a touching embrace as a medical team met them at the airfield and took Chuck straight to Westside Medical where he was now. Sarah was a little shaken but otherwise totally fine, She visited during the day along with pretty much everybody else he knew. The last time he slept was on the plane with Sarah in his arms.

6:00 A.M.

Chuck had managed to dose off a little but it still didn't help. He was lying on his bed looking at the TV when he heard a knock on the door; he looked over and was greeted with a sleepy looking Sarah smiling at him.

"Hey." Sarah said quietly as she walked into the room. He smiled at her as she bent down and gave him a sweet kiss.

"So how is my husband doing this beautiful morning?" Sarah sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at him. He looked super tired, she wondered if he had been sleeping. Chuck sighed in exasperation it was a good question how was he doing? He could tell her and risk her reply or he could lie and tell her what she wanted to hear. He hated lying to her but the risk of her reaction was far to great, if she didn't like what she heard and she left again… Ellie wouldn't be able to save him this time. No he would stall and tell her what she wanted to hear. It just wasn't the right time. Sarah could see the indecision on his face it was only there for a second but it told her all that she needed to know. He smiled up at her and leaned forward to give her a kiss.

"I'm doing great honey." He lied; he lied to her. Sarah could tell that he was not doing great, but she would wait she had to let him come to terms with whatever happened. Only then would he be able to talk to her about it. She smiled back at him then looked at the TV. Sarah gave Chuck a concerned look as she spoke

"So have you been sleeping? You look exhausted." Chuck shook his head no and sighed.

"I miss my wife to much to sleep, now if I could go home I'd sleep like a baby." He laughed at her stunned look. That stunned look turned sad and Sarah's eyes became moist. Chuck noticed instantly.

"Hey honey it's okay I was just kidding." He brought his hand up to her face and caressed her cheek.  
"Chuck we don't have a home. He took away everything; he nearly took you away from me. When I saw you face down in the mud in that alley I've never been so scared in my entire life. When I couldn't wake you it felt like my world was dying in my arms, like I had lost the only thing that made me a real person. I'm still scared, every time I look at you I see the damage that he did to us and how close both of us came to losing it all. We have nothing now, no house, no clothes, and no possession. He's taken everything, I'm just glad that I got to you in time before you bled to death." Sarah collapsed into him and cried. Chuck did what he did best…

"Sarah he is dead I promise you that he'll never hurt you again, it's over. I ended it, you have nothing to fear, and don't forget that you have me. I'll slay any demon, take on any criminal whatever it takes to make you happy because you mean everything to me." Chuck kissed the top of her head as the sobs subsided.

"Thank you Chuck you sacrifice so much for me and I don't thank you enough for it, all you do is give and nobody ever takes the time to think about you not even me as much as I should. All I ever do is take, take, take and I never give back. I selfishly left you for nearly a decade and you took me back like nothing happened." All of these new emotions were hitting Sarah all at the same time it was overwhelming.

"I don't sacrifice Sarah, if I didn't want to do it then I would do it. I do it because I love you more than anything else on this earth. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you Sarah I love you." Chuck kissed her on the lips with such passion that neither of them had ever experienced before.

"Sorry Chuck I didn't mean to unload all of that on you so soon I'm just decompressing from last week. I can't even imagine what you must be feeling right now." Chuck just kissed her again and held her tight, she needed this and that was all that mattered they could worry about him later.

"Don't apologize It is better then bottling it up inside." Sarah climbed into the bed and laid down on his right side, as she snuggled in close a massive sense of security descended onto her. Even though it was morning they were both exhausted and fell asleep in each other's arms. Chuck had fallen asleep but Sarah was just reveling in the feeling of security.

"I love you Chuck and I promise to make sure you forget all about this terrible week." She kissed his chin then fell asleep.

11:00 A.M.

Casey walked down the hallway headed towards Chuck's room he couldn't shake the image of Chuck after the fight. It was horrifying; he had seen terrible things but that was just horrible. A person like Chuck didn't deserve such a gruesome injury. A torn ACL, torn MCL a sprained Meniscus and a shattered knee joint. He would never have full movement of that knee again. Even with the new knee joint that they gave him and the year of rehab he had ahead of him he would never be the same. Chuck had to do some horrible thing to get them out of there; The Masked Man had set a trap and cornered them in that hallway. The tactical team was wiped out they didn't even get into the building before he attacked them. The fighting lasted a good fortyfive minutes as they fought their way out.

As Casey walked into Chuck's room he saw one of the most beautiful things he had ever laid eyes on. Chuck and Sarah were wrapped in each other's arms sleeping peacefully. Casey decided to head out into the hall and wait for them to wake they deserved a little time to them selves.

"Beautiful isn't it?" Emma was leaning on the wall just outside the door; Casey hadn't even seen her.

"Yeah I guess." Emma smiled at him, he always had to do the tough guy act. Emma continued.

"It almost makes you feel sorry for them, they never get a break, they always have to watch out, always have to be alert. They haven't had one day of just normal married couple. Its sad to see my own daughter so wound up all of the time, never able to just relax. Life has fought them tooth and nail since the day they were born." Casey nodded before speaking.

"They will, they'll have their time. Once this is all over they'll finally be able to sit down and relax." Sarah snuggled into Chuck's right side as Casey walked back into the room Sarah stirred and opened her eyes. As she starred up at Casey she wondered what he was doing. As Sarah started to sit up Casey realized what she was doing.

"No, no its okay lie back down, no need to sit up. I just came to tell you something important." She was intrigued by Casey's last statement. Casey sat down in a chair as he cleared his throat preparing to say some hard things to say.

"Chuck was so determined to get you back before the masked man sent the video. He was going to succeed you could tell. Then he got the Masked Mans video and it all went to hell." Casey gave a somber chuckle.

"A trade is what he purposed, you for Chuck. Of course Chuck planed to make the trade he really planned on trading." Sarah's breathe caught in her throat.

"You're kidding." Said Sarah quietly trying not to wake Chuck.

"I'm serious, he figured that if you were safe and able to live and move on then his mission would be a success. He knew that his death would be a tragic blow but that you would eventually move on and find someone else to make you happy, all he wants is you to be safe and happy even if that meant without him." Casey became really somber as he looked at Chuck.

"We showed up to the meeting place expecting you and The Masked Man to be there. It was a trap, they attacked us and we ended up capturing one of them."

Sarah was stunned silent she didn't know what to think.

"Chuck insisted that he interrogate the son of a bitch, I begged for him to let me do it but he was insistent. He tore that man apart, it was a terrible sight." Sarah was horrified, she looked at Chuck wide eyed as Casey continued.

"The man just wouldn't quit, he was pushing Chucks patients with snide comments about how good of a fuck you were two years ago. But Everybody talks and so did he, after Chuck had shattered one of his hands, shattered both knees and used a power drill to drill through the other hand he finally broke. As time went on the comments started to get grosser and grosser. But he continued with the snide comments until finally Chuck ran out of patients and emptied a pistol into the mans chest. I never knew Chuck had it in him, to kill in cold blood, I guess I was wrong." Sarah looked down at Chuck a tear dripping down her cheek.

"Oh Chuck." Casey could sense that Sarah was about to lose it and that he needed to get to the point.

"Now Sarah I didn't tell you all of that to make you feel bad, I told you that to show you what you're up against here. Chuck isn't okay not even a little bit, he is hurting, everyone can tell and I think he is bottling it up inside afraid to tell you." She looked at him like he was crazy.

"He is afraid of that off chance that you might not like what you hear and leave. Now I know that it won't happen but he doesn't, he's scared and you need to talk to him, don't wait for him to do it. Remember he is afraid of you're reaction. He'll never bring it up, you have to." Casey walked out having said exactly what he needed to say. Sarah admired Casey he was simply looking out for them. Sarah looked down at Chuck and noticed the sad grimace on his face as he slept. She kissed his lips and snuggled back into him before whispering

"We'll get through this Chuck, I'll never leave you again I love you and that's a promise."

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3 Days Later

Chuck and Sarah had been driving in the Lamborghini for about an hour. Sarah was really enjoying the Aventador it was truly a magnificent machine, she had to drive because Chuck was on painkillers to help with the pain in his leg and side. This route was starting to look really familiar and she had a feeling that she knew where they were going.

"Are we going where I think we're going Chuck?" she gave him a sly grin as anticipation built up inside her. He nodded as he gave her a bright smile.

"We're going home Sarah, something long over due." Sarah reached over and grabbed his hand and held it trying to relay all the love that she had for him.

"I love you so much Chuck." he smiled at her as he responded.

"I love you more then you know Sarah." he turned his head and spots the house approaching on the right.

"look honey there it is!" Says Sarah in excitement, she quickly pulls into the driveway and gets out to look at the house. Sarah realizes that Chuck is still in the car so she runs over to the trunk and pulls out his crutches. As Sarah helped Chuck out of the car he smiled at her. Once they were both safely out of the car Sarah kissed Chuck passionately on the lips careful not to knock him over.

"Lets go inside shall we." Said Chuck as he moved along slowly toward the door. Once they were at the door Chuck typed a code into the keypad and unlocked the door. Sarah went inside first and gasped as she saw the classically nerdy way that Chuck had decorated. It was a perfect balance between Nerdy and Sarah's more classic homey style. It took her breath away how perfect the place was pictures were scattered all over the place along with various little trinkets and plants.

"Wow Chuck it's perfect, where did you get all the pictures I thought that we lost all of them when the house was destroyed?" he smiled at her as he replied.

"These are the originals I had them copy every photo, I knew that you would comeback eventually comeback so I made this house as close to how I thought we would have done it. All of your close are in the master bedroom closet waiting for you. Everything from the apartment is in this house. I couldn't just move on, this was our house so everything we owned is in this house." She was speechless it was so heart felt what he had just said. Ellie and the Woodcombs had left the previous day for Chicago alone with his mother.

"I love you Chuck." Sarah ran into Chuck's arms and planted numerous sloppy kisses all over his face. Chuck laughed as he reciprocated the kisses and held her tight. They were finally home and it was great, though they had lots of work to do towards forgetting and moving on they were home and that's all that mattered the rest could be dealt with later.

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**_AN: SO THE EPILOGUE IS NEXT ENJOY :D_**


	16. Epilogue

9 Years Without You

By CharmingCharles2896

Chapter 16: Epilogue

Bartowski Residents

4 Years Later

Everything was good, Chuck and Sarah were living happily in there home with twins! Charles Irving Bartowski Jr. and Emma Faye Bartowski, both were a handful. Chuck Jr. was just like his father, easy going, kind and soft-spoken. While Emma had the fiery personality of her mother. Chuck looked just like his father while Emma was the spitting image of Sarah it scared people how similar their kids were to their parents. Sarah and Chuck were actually on a date while the kids hung out and played with Uncle Morgan and Auntie Alex. The Grimes family was actually pregnant with their second child, Alex wasn't very far along so it was that hard to manage. There only child at the moment John Alexander Grimes was 2 years old and had a rather strange personality, a weird amalgamation of Morgan and Alex's mixed with a little John Casey himself. So as the kids played with Alex in the back yard Morgan went to get Chuck and Sarah's mail after all it was Morgan's duty to protect his hetero life partner. As Morgan flipped through the mail a strange envelope fell out. It was black and had a large red dragon printed on the front. Morgan opened up the strange letter and read it's contents. Chuck and Sarah had enough to deal with right now so Morgan closed the envelope and slipped it into his back pocket. Besides Chuck and Sarah were retired and didn't anymore spy related stuff to deal with. Morgan's attention was pulled away from the mail by the sound of child's laughter. He put on a cheery smile as the kids ran toward him.

"Anything good Morgan?" asked Alex as she watched Morgan play with the kids.

"Not really sweetheart." Replied Morgan as he led the kids back into the back yard. Yes life was good everybody was happy for a change and that was all that mattered. The future was looking bright for the Bartowski clan once again.

The End

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**_AN: SO THIS IS THE END, HOPE ALL OF YOU ENJOYED THE RIDE._**

**_AN: GOING TO TAKE SO TIME OFF FROM WRITING I NEED TO FOCUS ON SCHOOL RIGHT NOW._**

**_AN: THANKS FOR ALL THE REVIEWS AND SUPPORT I GREATLY APPRECIATE IT. :D_**


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